A Trip to the Library

When I was young, I used to love to go to the library.  Of course, we lived within walking distance and the librarians all knew me.  in the summer time, I even went to the library barefoot, although that was probably a social "no-no."

For a large part of my adult life, I have made a weekly trip to the library, as much to browse as to select books to read. Sometimes, the libraries in my community have presentations, and even it they did not sound like something I was interested in, I attended, to support the library, and I would say 95% of the time I enjoyed the presentation.  

There have been times when I have not accessed the library. The reasons don't matter. Except I wiil say most recently, I had purchased some books, and wanted to finish them before I checked books out from the library. This past week, when I went to the library, I took my time to browse around, check the card catalogues (on computer) and look at the displays.   In the past several years, I have not taken the opportunity to do so on every weekly trip to the library.   More often than not, i went to the library with a book or books in mind, found them, checked them out and left.  It was like reconnecting with an old friend, to just enjoy spending time browsing in the library.  

Retirement? And then, un-retirement

 I kind of get it.  I mean, Tom Brady announced his retirement several weeks ago, and this past weekend, announced his "unretirement."  He is not the first sports star to do so.  And, I sort of get it.  My father retired, but worked as a consultant to the extent he was working more than less.  He returned to work for a while, but later, retired.  He was devoted to his work his adult life, and although he loved his family, his identity was also bound up in his work at the papermill where he worked.

There are many athletes who have retired and returned to playing sports:  Michael Jordan, Tony Conigliaro, Yogi Berra, Jim Bouton, Satchel Page, Bob Cousey, Joe Louis, Floyd Mayweather, Mohammed Ali, George Foreman, Sugar Ray Leonard, Gordie Howe, Michael Phelps, Rob Gronkowski. Some after a brief retirement for healing, others with even briefer retirements, and some with several years of retirement.   I think Michael Phelps was articulate about the fact that his life was still defined by his sport, and he still needed the competition to define himself.   

I am not sure why, after just a few weeks, Tom Brady decided to return to actively playing NFL football.  But I get it.   After 45 years of social work practice, the last 26 and half at the same job, I retired.  It took me from June, when I decided it was time to retire, until December, to actually reconcile myself to the fact that I was retiring, although, because of health issues, I could not execute my work at the level I had in the past.  Even then. I was not eager for the final day of work until about the week before it occurred.  By then, I was relieved as well as still having a heavy heart at leaving my patients, my colleagues, my responsibilities, and my professional identify.   

When asked, I reported my retirement plan as sleeping for 2 weeks, which, literally I did. And then some. And there came the day that I thought my strength and stamina had returned.  And I thought,  "Why am I retiring? Why am I not working?  I can still do this."  And, of course, the next day, I needed to sleep most of the day.  

The point is, when I found myself having second thoughts about retiring, there was a mixture of thoughts and feelings to deal with: "I miss my co-workers. I miss the satisfaction of helping patients.  I was good at what I did.  I appreciated the recognition for what I did.  It was an ego boost.  I could not keep up.  I could not work up to my potential. I was disappointed in my failure to perform up to my own expectations.  It was not fair to my boss, coworkers, and patients who had a right to depend upon me. My performance was unprofessional, and even, perhaps, unethical.  I did the best I could.  The expectations from the administration were so overwhelming as to make the job impossible in some ways. It was time to get out of that depressing environment. It was heartbreaking to see a once premiere program ground down to almost nothing, no matter how hard the staff tried. It was not our fault; there was not enough staff to provide the high quality programming we could have been doing. It was time.  I made the right decision.  Who am I kidding?  Myself most of all."

My internal dialogue reflects what I thought and felt, not anyone else.  But I get the decision to change plans. 

Cats and Chaos, War and Children

 I had three cats,  Sake, Haiku, and Taki.  I can't say that they were friends, the best I can say is that they tolerated each other.  They could not all 3 sit on the sofa at the same time; two at most, and at best.  The one place all 3 could share, besides the kitchen at meal time,  with separate dishes, was the bed.  They could not sit together, but they could share the bed.

And, they shared something else.  I don't know if they learned this from each other, or it is just something they had in common, but they would become anxious when I stripped the bed to wash the linens, and did not make the bed quickly enough to suit them.  They did not like to sit on the mattress. I think that was a hold over from when I had a waterbed.  But when I stripped the bed, I would make the comforter available to them, on the mattress, or elsewhere in the bedroom. And sometimes, when I did start to make the bed, they liked to play with the linens and hide under the sheets and comforter.  For a short while.

The only cat left is Taki. She is learning disabled, but functional for the most part.  She forgets how to pull a door open some days, but never forgets how to push a door open. She forgets that playing with claws extended, and biting are not allowed, or just cannot control her impulses. She also is not much of a snuggler, but will sit adjacent, and even likes to hold my hand in her front paws!  She likes to eat where I eat:  in the kitchen when I am in the dining area, in the computer room, when I am there.   If her dishes start in one area, and we move to another, she seems to forget where her dishes are.  But she knows the words "kitchen, breakfast and dinner."  She has not learned the word "commercial" but she knows that when there is a  break in the action, or a change in tempo, I will get up and try to tend to her requests (if I can figure them out)

So, all the to say I washed linens today, which set Taki off a bit, because that is usually a Sunday chore.  I was slow at getting the laundry dried and remaking the bed.  Meanwhile, Taki took up residence on the comforter that was piled at the end of the bed.  She was not resting peacefully, but keeping a careful watch on the bed. And that is when it struck me:  This is a common weekly occurrence in our house, which is calm and quiet for the most part, (except during sporting events.) History in her life indicates the bed will be made and we will have a bed again!  Although I can try to explain this to her, and I do, her vocabulary is not as good as Sake:s and Haiku's, so I do not think she really gets even the general idea of what I am saying.

And this brought me to what I am seeing on the news about the events in Ukraine, and how it is effecting the civilians. Especially, the impact on children, who may not really be able to grasp what is going on, or are too young to have any idea about what is going on.  I do not wish to demean the children of the Ukraine in anyway.   I have never had children, only fur babies.  But if an unmade bed can create an anxiety reaction in my cats, can you imagine how the noise, explosions, fires, destruction impact the children of war.  How being bundled up, leaving home behind with only what you have on your back, with crowds of strangers, usually only one parent, and minimal provisions on a trip in an uncomfortable, crowded truck, bus or train.  Not knowing how long the trip will be. Not knowing what will be waiting at the destination, which probably is only an interim destination, before repeating the processing to yet another unknown destination.  

And, this is just the beginning of the trauma.   There may or may not be a safe haven at the end of the journey:  relatives who are lovingly eager to take you in, or shelters that are waystations until some other plan can be made for you, by someone you do not know, who may or may not be able to accommodate your preferences..  In a different country, with different customs, languages, and expectations.  With discrimination possible and even likely, once the novelty wears off. 

As one individual, there is only so much I can do to help:  I can pray.  I am a firm believer in the power of prayer, and the more united the prayer, the more powerful.  I can attend vigils, solidarity demonstrations, and educational presentations about the events of the world. I can donate goods, funds or perhaps even services.  I can advocate with my legislators regarding my concerns and viewpoint for these world issues. 

And, so can you!

  

 

Vigil in Support of the Ukraine

 I did attend the vigil in the support of the Ukraine which was held last night.   There were a couple hundred people there, I would have wished for more. Lubbock has a small Ukrainian community, many associated with Texas Tech University, and some of whom were present. Also in the group were Russians, who were supportive of the Ukrainian people .Vigil in support of the Ukraine in Lubbock.

I realize that this was hastily organized, but ethnocentric as people in the United States are, it consisted of songs glorifying the United States, although a couple of Ukrainians, and some in the crowd, sang the national anthem of  the Ukraine.  I am not sure what I would have done differently.  The songs about the US were about patriotism, and freedom.  The speeches were well done:  they brought together the US history and our fight for liberation from England, twice, and how that can be compared or related to the current fight in which the Ukraine and Russia are engaged.  But I suspect that many people in the crowd, self included, did not know much about the history of the Ukraine, and this was the best that could be done on short notice.   

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Lubbock Mayor's Annual Beans and Cornbread Lunch in support of Hospice of Lubbock.

March 4, 2022 is the 33rd annual Lubbock Mayor's Beans and Cornbread Lunch (with all the fixins)  in support of Hospice of Lubbock.  Hospice of Lubbock provides care for patients with insurance, Medicare and Medicaid, but also provides care for unfunded patients, not just in Lubbock, but in the surrounding counties. As you know, the Hospice mission is to provide end of life dignity, palliative care, and respect for the patient's wishes in the final days 

Typically, this lunch is a major fundraiser for Hospice of Lubbock.  It has included speeches of support, not just from the Mayor of Lubbock, but also from Mayors from surrounding communities and other people who support the Hospice mission.  It has also included opportunity to network with like minded citizens of Lubbock.  In the past, it has also included local music groups providing entertainment. 

Well, because of COVID 19, in 2021, Hospice of Lubbock joined with the YWCA to do a drive through luncheon, and it was very successful, and will be repeated this year. Tickets can be purchased at https://covenanthealth.ejoinme.org/beansandcornbread. Even if you do not want to do a bean and cornbread lunch, you can donate at Hospice of Lubbock | Covenant Health.  

Invasion of Ukraine, and support for the Ukrainian people -Vigil in Lubbock

 On Friday evening March 4, 2022, at 7:15 there will be a candlelight vigil at the Monument of Courage, 84^th and Nashville, Lubbock, Texas.   VFW Post 2466, the Purple Heart Chapter 0900, American Legion Post 575, Friends of the Monument of Courage and others will gather there.

Anyone in the community who is concerned about the Ukrainian invasion by Russia is encouraged to attend.  I have it on good authority that KCBD is investigating appropriate agencies who can help the Ukrainian refugees. I have explored several sights on the internet, but I am not sure I am savvy enough to know which ones are able to provide the needed services using donations in a responsible and appropriate way.,

If you can open your heart, please consider what you can do to help the Ukrainian citizens, either seeking refuge in other countries, or resisting being overtaken by the Russians.