Control

I like to be in control. I like to be in charge, sometimes, but I like to be in control. I like to make decisions about what I am going to do, when I am going to do it, and how I am going to do it. I learned from a supervisor that taking pro-active steps in a difficult situation can help to stay in control.

I like to know what the plan is, where I am going.  I like predictable.  While I can work under pressure to meet deadlines, I like to work ahead so I do not have to work under pressure. I started this habit when I was in college, after several disastrous last minute attempts to do assignments in junior high and high school.

I discovered that I was an "adrenaline junkie" when I worked at the county hospital. Not to my liking: but when I had a weekend off, it took all weekend just to calm down enough to relax.  After a while, I did not like that.

When I worked in the county hospital, I tried to anticipate discharge needs when patients were admitted. I check on my wards before leaving for the night, to deal with potential overnight emergencies. I still check on what is happening in my assigned areas at work to be aware of what may turn into an emergency, and what I can ward off.

I try not to wait to the last minute to prepare to pay bills. I try to plan ahead for my vacations, time off from work, chores. From my mother, I learned about planning routes and not back tracking, to me more efficient.

I try to be flexible, but sometimes I realize I am such a creature of habit that I am not spontaneous. I think I might get some pleasure by being spontaneous.   But, I am not. 

Being in control is not a bad thing or a good thing.  It is just the way I am.