I have listened to books on tape or CD before. Once, because the library did not have a written version available of the book I wanted. Another time, I was given a gift, and listened to it as I took a trip.
This week, I have again listened to a book on CD, since the library did not have a written version.. Because I was able to focus during the previous efforts, although, I admit, in a car, it was not that difficult, I know it was not just me, but it must have been the book, because I had a difficult time focusing on what I was hearing this time. Surprisingly, I did get through it. Partly because my back is bothering me and there was nothing on TV and it is so pretty outside, and I could take my portable CD player outside and listen to the book on disc, while lounging in my gravity chair.
I re-listened to part or all of the CDs because I did not concentrate and therefore remember what I was hearing.
As I get older, I find this is true, anyway. My mind drifts and I do not hear what the speaker was saying. I miss things. I did not used to do that.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
I Do Not Have a Purse
I do not have a purse, and I have not had one for a very long time . I am thinking that I have not had a purse for 20 years, but maybe 15 or 17 years is more accurate.
I do use a fanny pack. When I was doing community social work, I stopped carrying my purse (leaving it in the trunk of my car) to reduce my vulnerability for attack, and so that I could honestly tell the clients who asked for handouts that I did not have cash with me.
At some point, I discovered the value of a fanny pack. I did not need to carry much with me, and what I did need to carry, could fit in a fanny pack. The fanny pack worked, because when I was well enough to walk, I could just strap it on me and walk. I like the fanny pack because I can connect the strap to a shopping cart, or hang it on a chair in a restaurant. The fanny pack still allows me to carry the essentials, but I do not need a large bag, or an ostentatious bag. I just carry the essentials.
I do use a fanny pack. When I was doing community social work, I stopped carrying my purse (leaving it in the trunk of my car) to reduce my vulnerability for attack, and so that I could honestly tell the clients who asked for handouts that I did not have cash with me.
At some point, I discovered the value of a fanny pack. I did not need to carry much with me, and what I did need to carry, could fit in a fanny pack. The fanny pack worked, because when I was well enough to walk, I could just strap it on me and walk. I like the fanny pack because I can connect the strap to a shopping cart, or hang it on a chair in a restaurant. The fanny pack still allows me to carry the essentials, but I do not need a large bag, or an ostentatious bag. I just carry the essentials.
Tchaikovsky
I have been wanting more music by Tchaikovsky http://www.tchaikovsky-research.net/ to listen to. Yesterday, I made it happen. I had a gift card for Hastings http://www.gohastings.com/ that I received as a Christmas present. I loaded the gift card into my bag (I do not have a purse. I use a fanny pack. Maybe I will write about that.) some time ago, but never did get to Hastings.
I have been looking at Barnes and Noble for some Tchaikovsky but I did not really find what I wanted. Well, yesterday, I left work early to go to my tax preparer, and was done with that well before 5 PM. So, I decided to go to Hastings to look for some music.
I found something called: Tchaikovsky, the ultimate collection. This is a 4 CD collection that has music from "Swan Lake," "Sleeping Beauty," "The Nutcracker Ballet." "Aurora's Wedding," "Romeo and Juliet." " Eugene Onegin," and many more, but most importantly what I wanted was "The 1812 Overture."
I already have a very good rendition of "The 1812 Overture." I am really disappointed with this rendition of "The 1812 Overture," but I am very pleased with much of the rest of the music on these CDs.
Oh well.
I have been looking at Barnes and Noble for some Tchaikovsky but I did not really find what I wanted. Well, yesterday, I left work early to go to my tax preparer, and was done with that well before 5 PM. So, I decided to go to Hastings to look for some music.
I found something called: Tchaikovsky, the ultimate collection. This is a 4 CD collection that has music from "Swan Lake," "Sleeping Beauty," "The Nutcracker Ballet." "Aurora's Wedding," "Romeo and Juliet." " Eugene Onegin," and many more, but most importantly what I wanted was "The 1812 Overture."
I already have a very good rendition of "The 1812 Overture." I am really disappointed with this rendition of "The 1812 Overture," but I am very pleased with much of the rest of the music on these CDs.
Oh well.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Learning New Skills
Sake came into my life in the fall of 2001. I do not know when I realized she had amazing talents of climbing, hopping, opening drawers and cabinets. But she did. She jumped some 5 or 6 feet high, she climbed trees, and jumped down some 10 feet. I saw her open drawers and empty the contents, or lay on the contents. And, I saw her open cupboards.
Haiku came into my life in November of 2002. From her previous owner, I learned she knew how to climb and jump high onto furniture. When I lived with Bob, she would jump down from the loft to the closet top in the living room, probably 8 to 10 feet down, 6 to 8 feet beyond her perch. She too could jump up 5 or 6 feet, open cupboards, and drawers. I am not sure if she knew how to open cupboards and drawers before she joined our life, but she certainly demonstrated she knew how within months of living with Sake and myself.
Both knew how to push open a door slightly ajar, or squeeze into a door opening to pull it open, or, as I have seen, pull it open with a paw.
Over the years, Sake and Haiku have moderated their climbing activity. Sake sometimes misses the kitchen counter, which is about 4 feet. The first time I saw her do that, about 3 years ago, she slinked off. I know she was embarrassed. I feel so badly for her. I know it is age, and probably arthritis. But she does not seem to be in pain.
Haiku seemed to have toned it down when Sake did. I think it may have a competition thing, because when Haiku wants to jump high, she still can.
Haiku likes to go into the garage, and, sometimes, she demonstrates her jumping prowess, getting to the top shelves, and jumping from shelf to shelf, which are 3-4 feet apart.
When Taki came to live with us in 2011, at less than 2 weeks old, she was a survivor. I remember one morning, early on, when I woke up and she was sound asleep, so I got in the shower. By the time I finished my shower, she had clawed her way to the shower, bleating because she was hungry (I did not do that again. I woke her up and fed her before I showered.)
As Taki grew, she learned to claw her way up on the bed or sofa, not by hopping, which she does now, but by climbing. Taki has never demonstrated high jumping, but she has demonstrated climbing by clawing. She jumps 3-4 feet at the most, as far as I can tell. She may be able to jump higher, but I have not seen it.
Taki has been slow to learn other skills. I have not seen her open a cupboard or drawer. She may when I am not home. I just do not know.
Last fall, some times in the morning, Taki would be under the reclining sofa in the morning. I first discovered this because I could not find her one morning, and she usually woke me up asking for breakfast, or was on the bed, waiting for morning treats. I became concerned, because I realized she did not know how to get out of doors that might be ajar. I searched and searched and could not find her. Incidentally I saw her paw sticking out from under the sofa, and realized she was under the sofa.
I thought maybe I captured her there, when I closed the reclining sofa for the night. I took to checking to make sure she was not under the sofa before I went to bed, but I was not sure I did it every night, and from time to time, she was under the reclining sofa. One morning, very early, and with the living room not well lit, I check for her under the side of the sofa I had used the night before. I did not see her, and after quite some time, I still could not find her. Because I could not find her anywhere else, I checked again under the sofa: she was not under the side I had opened earlier, but was under the other side, which I had to open to get her out. She did not evacuate when the other side was open!
The last time Taki was "caught" under the sofa, I knew for sure I had made a point to look for her under the sofa before I closed it for the night. I used a flashlight. I did not see her there. But she was there the next morning. I decided that she was using the split flap in the back. So, now, if she gets in, she gets herself out.
Taki has known from the beginning, how to push open a door that was slightly ajar. But if she was on the opposite side of the door, and had to pull it open with a paw, or the size of the opening was smaller than she was, she did not know how to stick her head into it, so that she could pull it open. Until this week! I hope it is not a fluke, but Friday morning, the bathroom door was open a crack, and she opened it wider so that she could get out!
For the ongoing reader, you will have read about garage privileges for the cats. Taki has recently earned more and more garage privileges because she does come when she is called. And, if there is an episode when she does not respond, she does not get garage privileges. I do not know if she equates the two, but it seems to help.
When Sake and Haiku are in the garage, and they want in the house, they are able to get my attention quite easily. They are noisy and persistent in their efforts.
Yesterday, I was gone for much of the afternoon, and early evening, but last night Sake, Haiku and Take wanted in and out of the garage several times. It turned cold, but not unbearable in the garage. So, I accommodated them. The last to want into the garage was Taki, somewhat later in the night. When the cats are in the garage, I try to check on them every 30 minutes or even less. Last night, I got involved, and did not check on Taki as normally I would: it was probably close to an hour before I checked on Taki, in the garage, by herself. She was at the door, and was very eager to return to the house (the temperature in the garage had dropped considerably.) I told her she needed to figure out a way to let me know when she wanted to come in.
Today, all three girls wanted in and out of the garage in the morning. In the afternoon, at one point, Taki wanted in the garage, and she was given the privilege. About 40 minutes later, I heard her mewing. She had figured out how to ask back into the house! Good for her. She was not as loud or obvious as Sake or Haiku, but I heard her.
Taki learns slower than Sake and Haiku. Of course, she had a delayed start in life. But she is not dumb. And, she is able to let her needs be known!
Haiku came into my life in November of 2002. From her previous owner, I learned she knew how to climb and jump high onto furniture. When I lived with Bob, she would jump down from the loft to the closet top in the living room, probably 8 to 10 feet down, 6 to 8 feet beyond her perch. She too could jump up 5 or 6 feet, open cupboards, and drawers. I am not sure if she knew how to open cupboards and drawers before she joined our life, but she certainly demonstrated she knew how within months of living with Sake and myself.
Both knew how to push open a door slightly ajar, or squeeze into a door opening to pull it open, or, as I have seen, pull it open with a paw.
Over the years, Sake and Haiku have moderated their climbing activity. Sake sometimes misses the kitchen counter, which is about 4 feet. The first time I saw her do that, about 3 years ago, she slinked off. I know she was embarrassed. I feel so badly for her. I know it is age, and probably arthritis. But she does not seem to be in pain.
Haiku seemed to have toned it down when Sake did. I think it may have a competition thing, because when Haiku wants to jump high, she still can.
Haiku likes to go into the garage, and, sometimes, she demonstrates her jumping prowess, getting to the top shelves, and jumping from shelf to shelf, which are 3-4 feet apart.
When Taki came to live with us in 2011, at less than 2 weeks old, she was a survivor. I remember one morning, early on, when I woke up and she was sound asleep, so I got in the shower. By the time I finished my shower, she had clawed her way to the shower, bleating because she was hungry (I did not do that again. I woke her up and fed her before I showered.)
As Taki grew, she learned to claw her way up on the bed or sofa, not by hopping, which she does now, but by climbing. Taki has never demonstrated high jumping, but she has demonstrated climbing by clawing. She jumps 3-4 feet at the most, as far as I can tell. She may be able to jump higher, but I have not seen it.
Taki has been slow to learn other skills. I have not seen her open a cupboard or drawer. She may when I am not home. I just do not know.
Last fall, some times in the morning, Taki would be under the reclining sofa in the morning. I first discovered this because I could not find her one morning, and she usually woke me up asking for breakfast, or was on the bed, waiting for morning treats. I became concerned, because I realized she did not know how to get out of doors that might be ajar. I searched and searched and could not find her. Incidentally I saw her paw sticking out from under the sofa, and realized she was under the sofa.
I thought maybe I captured her there, when I closed the reclining sofa for the night. I took to checking to make sure she was not under the sofa before I went to bed, but I was not sure I did it every night, and from time to time, she was under the reclining sofa. One morning, very early, and with the living room not well lit, I check for her under the side of the sofa I had used the night before. I did not see her, and after quite some time, I still could not find her. Because I could not find her anywhere else, I checked again under the sofa: she was not under the side I had opened earlier, but was under the other side, which I had to open to get her out. She did not evacuate when the other side was open!
The last time Taki was "caught" under the sofa, I knew for sure I had made a point to look for her under the sofa before I closed it for the night. I used a flashlight. I did not see her there. But she was there the next morning. I decided that she was using the split flap in the back. So, now, if she gets in, she gets herself out.
Taki has known from the beginning, how to push open a door that was slightly ajar. But if she was on the opposite side of the door, and had to pull it open with a paw, or the size of the opening was smaller than she was, she did not know how to stick her head into it, so that she could pull it open. Until this week! I hope it is not a fluke, but Friday morning, the bathroom door was open a crack, and she opened it wider so that she could get out!
For the ongoing reader, you will have read about garage privileges for the cats. Taki has recently earned more and more garage privileges because she does come when she is called. And, if there is an episode when she does not respond, she does not get garage privileges. I do not know if she equates the two, but it seems to help.
When Sake and Haiku are in the garage, and they want in the house, they are able to get my attention quite easily. They are noisy and persistent in their efforts.
Yesterday, I was gone for much of the afternoon, and early evening, but last night Sake, Haiku and Take wanted in and out of the garage several times. It turned cold, but not unbearable in the garage. So, I accommodated them. The last to want into the garage was Taki, somewhat later in the night. When the cats are in the garage, I try to check on them every 30 minutes or even less. Last night, I got involved, and did not check on Taki as normally I would: it was probably close to an hour before I checked on Taki, in the garage, by herself. She was at the door, and was very eager to return to the house (the temperature in the garage had dropped considerably.) I told her she needed to figure out a way to let me know when she wanted to come in.
Today, all three girls wanted in and out of the garage in the morning. In the afternoon, at one point, Taki wanted in the garage, and she was given the privilege. About 40 minutes later, I heard her mewing. She had figured out how to ask back into the house! Good for her. She was not as loud or obvious as Sake or Haiku, but I heard her.
Taki learns slower than Sake and Haiku. Of course, she had a delayed start in life. But she is not dumb. And, she is able to let her needs be known!
Saturday, March 23, 2013
National Public Radio
I really enjoy the Saturday morning line of our local National Public Radio http://www.npr.org/ station, KTTZ http://www.kttz.org/about-us. They broadcast three shows I expecially enjoy: Car Talk, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, and From the Top.
I first heard Car Talk http://www.cartalk.com/ about 10 years ago. This show is hilarious. The premise is the Tappet brothers anwer questions about automobiles. The questions are not limited to repair information, but include questions about driving styles, makes and models of cars and of course, a there is a weekly puzzler. Even the introduction and credits are funny, especially if you like puns. And it helps that the show originates in Boston. While I do not have, and never did have a strong Boston accent, I like to listen to the Tappet brothers talk.
I do not know when KTTZ started airing Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me http://www.npr.org/programs/wait-wait-dont-tell-me/, but it obviously has been around a long time. It is a news quiz show that,too, is very funny. It has done what it is supposed to do for me, it has made me start to pay closer attention to the news, especially some of the odd stories. It makes followiong the news much more enjoyable.
From the Top http://www.fromthetop.org/ has been around a long time, too. It is an excellent show that features young musical performers from around the world. Some become eligible for a Jack Kent Cooke Foundation http://www.jkcf.org/ scholarship or a New England Conservatory http://www.necmusic.edu/ scholarship. Some return to the show as older teenagers or young adults for special encores.
I regret that when From the Top has taped in Lubbock, I have not gone. I believe if they ever come back, I will make a concerted effort to attend the performance.
I really like NPR for another reason. When Mack was alive and we traveled, he liked listening to the radio, and to NPR especially. And if the station became staticky, he would nose the car radio and snuffle, to get it to play better, I guess. The was my clue that it was time to look for another radio station.
I support National Public Radio, and well as the Public Broadcasting Service http://www.pbs.org/. Both of these are aired in connection with Texas Tech, and mostly recently adopted the same call letters: KTTZ. http://www.kttz.org/. The sad part about KTTZ-TV is that although they have a few good series throughout the year, their best programming occurs only during their fundraisers. I understand the economics of that, but it is still sad.
I first heard Car Talk http://www.cartalk.com/ about 10 years ago. This show is hilarious. The premise is the Tappet brothers anwer questions about automobiles. The questions are not limited to repair information, but include questions about driving styles, makes and models of cars and of course, a there is a weekly puzzler. Even the introduction and credits are funny, especially if you like puns. And it helps that the show originates in Boston. While I do not have, and never did have a strong Boston accent, I like to listen to the Tappet brothers talk.
I do not know when KTTZ started airing Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me http://www.npr.org/programs/wait-wait-dont-tell-me/, but it obviously has been around a long time. It is a news quiz show that,too, is very funny. It has done what it is supposed to do for me, it has made me start to pay closer attention to the news, especially some of the odd stories. It makes followiong the news much more enjoyable.
From the Top http://www.fromthetop.org/ has been around a long time, too. It is an excellent show that features young musical performers from around the world. Some become eligible for a Jack Kent Cooke Foundation http://www.jkcf.org/ scholarship or a New England Conservatory http://www.necmusic.edu/ scholarship. Some return to the show as older teenagers or young adults for special encores.
I regret that when From the Top has taped in Lubbock, I have not gone. I believe if they ever come back, I will make a concerted effort to attend the performance.
I really like NPR for another reason. When Mack was alive and we traveled, he liked listening to the radio, and to NPR especially. And if the station became staticky, he would nose the car radio and snuffle, to get it to play better, I guess. The was my clue that it was time to look for another radio station.
I support National Public Radio, and well as the Public Broadcasting Service http://www.pbs.org/. Both of these are aired in connection with Texas Tech, and mostly recently adopted the same call letters: KTTZ. http://www.kttz.org/. The sad part about KTTZ-TV is that although they have a few good series throughout the year, their best programming occurs only during their fundraisers. I understand the economics of that, but it is still sad.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
A Different Day
I am on the board of directors for Catholic Charities, Diocese of Lubbock http://www.cclubbock.org/. This is my third year to be on the board and I really am enjoying the experience.
I came to Texas in 1977 as a volunteer in the Laymen in the Amarillo Mission Program, a sort of Diocese of Amarillo VISTA program. They mostly had teachers, but when I wrote and asked if they could use a social worker, they said yes. I came for a year to work at Catholic Family Service, in the Lubbock office. After a year, I became a paid employee of the agency, and stayed with the agency for 10 years.
Over the years, I have continued to hear really good things about Catholic Family Service, and several years ago, when I was asked to be on the board, I was thrilled. I have enjoyed my tenure on the board. I supported the change to Catholic Charities, recognizing the alignment with the national organization really strengthened the the agency.
I have been blessed to be asked to do some social work supportive things for the agency. Today, I did two inservices, stayed for the monthly staff meeting, and sat on the interview panel for the director of family counseling position the agency has open.
It was a different day. I looked forward to it and I enjoyed. When I told a coworker yesterday about my plans for the day, he complimented the agency. I was able to tell the staff about this compliment. It made me feel really good to tell them how well the agency is thought of in the community.
I am so blessed to be able to serve this agency.
I came to Texas in 1977 as a volunteer in the Laymen in the Amarillo Mission Program, a sort of Diocese of Amarillo VISTA program. They mostly had teachers, but when I wrote and asked if they could use a social worker, they said yes. I came for a year to work at Catholic Family Service, in the Lubbock office. After a year, I became a paid employee of the agency, and stayed with the agency for 10 years.
Over the years, I have continued to hear really good things about Catholic Family Service, and several years ago, when I was asked to be on the board, I was thrilled. I have enjoyed my tenure on the board. I supported the change to Catholic Charities, recognizing the alignment with the national organization really strengthened the the agency.
I have been blessed to be asked to do some social work supportive things for the agency. Today, I did two inservices, stayed for the monthly staff meeting, and sat on the interview panel for the director of family counseling position the agency has open.
It was a different day. I looked forward to it and I enjoyed. When I told a coworker yesterday about my plans for the day, he complimented the agency. I was able to tell the staff about this compliment. It made me feel really good to tell them how well the agency is thought of in the community.
I am so blessed to be able to serve this agency.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
And It Is
And it is a good day. Today was a little cloudier and cooler than the meterological forecast predicted, but it was not cold, and, although the wind was strong, the dust did not blow. That is always a blessing in Lubbock, Texas.
It was another full day at work. I accomplished almost everything I wanted to do, got some things done ahead, and left work in time to go home, feed the cats and get to the book club.
After the book club, I ran a couple of errands. I had told myself that these errands would get done on Wednesday, but since it was early enough, and I was going by the door of the store, I did those errands today.
I still have errands to do Wednesday night, but that decreases the load.
I got home and tended to some personal business, and am now reading emails, waiting for a survey to load, and doing blogging, Facebook, games, etc.
I may not start a book tonight. Staying out late puts me behind on all the things I like to do nightly. That is okay.
It was another full day at work. I accomplished almost everything I wanted to do, got some things done ahead, and left work in time to go home, feed the cats and get to the book club.
After the book club, I ran a couple of errands. I had told myself that these errands would get done on Wednesday, but since it was early enough, and I was going by the door of the store, I did those errands today.
I still have errands to do Wednesday night, but that decreases the load.
I got home and tended to some personal business, and am now reading emails, waiting for a survey to load, and doing blogging, Facebook, games, etc.
I may not start a book tonight. Staying out late puts me behind on all the things I like to do nightly. That is okay.
Monday, March 18, 2013
It Was A Full Day
It was a full day at work. I did an assortment of tasks, including patient interviews, paperwork, consults with colleagues, and some networking.
After work, I went to a Catholic Charities board meeting. It starts with a Mass, and I had a discussion with the agency director about a training I am doing on Thursday. I took minutes for the meeting.
Then, I went to the library and found a couple of books that I wanted, and ordered an inter-library loan book.
When I got home, I read email, worked on NASW addresses, did the puzzles I do to keep my brain healthy, and which I very much enjoy, and responded to some other emails.
I am not really interested in starting to read a book tonight. There is nothing on TV I want to watch, and I am about done with the computer. Some days are like this. When we get to the end, there is an anti-climax.
Tomorrow will be a good day!
After work, I went to a Catholic Charities board meeting. It starts with a Mass, and I had a discussion with the agency director about a training I am doing on Thursday. I took minutes for the meeting.
Then, I went to the library and found a couple of books that I wanted, and ordered an inter-library loan book.
When I got home, I read email, worked on NASW addresses, did the puzzles I do to keep my brain healthy, and which I very much enjoy, and responded to some other emails.
I am not really interested in starting to read a book tonight. There is nothing on TV I want to watch, and I am about done with the computer. Some days are like this. When we get to the end, there is an anti-climax.
Tomorrow will be a good day!
Sunday, March 17, 2013
I Do Not Have a Book to Read
I usually go to the library on Saturday and sometimes on Sunday also. I almost always have a book I am reading. But today, I do not. I did not finish the book The Other Woman's House http://www.sophiehannah.com/crime-fiction/us-editions/the-other-womans-house/ by Sophie Hannah for the Barnes and Noble mystery book club. I was probably in my mid-thirty's when I realized that I did not have to finish a book, just because I started it. Many in the book club relate that they were in mid-life, when they realized the same thing.
I tried to read The Other Woman's House. It is the sixth in a series that focuses on two detectives. It is supposed to be a well written book Maybe if I knew the two detectives better before I read this book, I would have stayed with it. But I did not. The woman who reported a murder was whiny, paranoid, disrespectful, thought the worst of her husband, her family and it seems almost everyone with whom she had contact. She assumed no one wanted to help her, and she lied to the authorities. Her lies to the authorities was the last straw for me.
I was describing this character to a coworker who said what I thought: "It sounds like our patients."
Now, do not get me wrong. I really try to be respectful to my patients, and try to help them. I believe them until I am proven wrong. I enter into the therapeutic relationship with the belief that I can offer them something if they are willing to work to make a change.
But many of my patients have the same attitude as I described in the woman character above. They assume I am not going to help them, and they act entitled to rights they gave up when they committed their crimes. They are disrespectful, paranoid and suspicious of all non-offenders, and sometimes, of other offenders. This is a difficult population to deal with. Sometimes their paranoia is psychotic, sometimes it is just disrespectful. This is difficult to differentiate.
So, why would I spend my off time reading about a person who fits that description. Well, I would not.
I had been reading A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. It became due at the library, and I thought I had already renewed it once, so I turned it in, but wrote myself a note regarding where I stopped reading it. I plan to check it out again. A few days after I turned the book in, I found the original check out receipt, and realized I could have renewed it. I do not know why I did not get online and try to renew it, anyway. The electronic library program would have told me if I could renew it or not. Duh!
Well, for another book club, I have been reading another Bill Bryson book: I'm a Stranger Here Myself. I thought I might finish it today, and I did.
I did not get to the library yesterday for a couple of reasons: I was going to the movies with a friend, late morning, and I wanted to get other errands and chores run before going to the movie. I had thought I might stop at the library on the way home from the movie. But that route required me to use the Loop access road, if not the Loop itself. I left the movie physically ill: I saw Silver Linings Playbook http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1045658/ and the camera action and whirling dancing made me physically dizzy and nauseous.
This is not a new phenomenon with me. I went to see Premonition http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0477071/ with a friend. It was not the sort of movie I would normally watch, but the friend wanted to see it, and we had not done anything together in some time, so I went. The back and forth reality of that movie literally made me ill.
For both movies, it took me several hours to recover, and just thinking about Premonition brings back the vertigo https://www.google.com/search?q=Vertigo&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-Address&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7ADBF.
I did not know I suffered vertigo until I started working at the Montford Unit in 1995. It was some time after I started that job that I realized what was going on. I had watched the the Alfred Hitchcock thriller Vertigo http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052357/ as a teenager, but never related it to what happens to me.
I used to get car sick very easily. My parents tried everything: full stomach, empty stomach, suckers, window seat, open window. It did not matter, when I was little, a long car trip usually resulted in nausea and vomiting. And because I hated the sibling ridicule, I usually waited until it was almost or was too late to express my distress. As I aged, I did better.
I could not do merry-go-rounds, or any type of circular movement amusement rides. Roller coasters, bumper cars, and chair lifts were fine. When we went to the amusement park, Mountain Park http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_Park_(Holyoke,_Massachusetts) near my home when I was growing up, I tried the rides. I just could not do them, and spent large parts of the day feeling awful. (As I write this, I feel awful, the memory is so powerful.)
As a teenager, I did not want to obtain a driver's license. There was more than one reason, but one was the problem with carsickness. My best friend wanted her license, and my parents really believed I should get it, so they encouraged me to take driver's education with my friend, and I did get my driver's license. I am ever grateful to my friend and my parents for their advocacy reagarding getting my driver's license. And, I discovered that I did not get car sick when I drove.
I remember the first time Lisenby and I went to the South Plains Fair http://www.southplainsfair.com/. He loved the rides. I could not convince him that I would get sick on anything that rotated. We did several things that I could handle, like the Fun House, the roller coaster, and I do not know what else. We did the Pirate Ship, which made me a little queasy, but it was manageable. He wanted to go on some rocket ship revolver ride, and I protested heavily, but he prevailed. Part way through the ride, he recognized my distress, and was able to signal the operator that I needed off. I was done for the night. I felt bad that I ruined his night, but if he had listened to me, and gone on the ride alone (a bummer, I know) he would have had more fun that night. We did not repeat that mistake.
I recall a plane trip from Lubbock to Waco, in the late 1980's. The trip to Dallas was fine, but the trip from Dallas to Waco was on a very small plane. The attendant could see me becoming physically ill, and asked what would help. He offered mints, and I said lemon: he had a cut up lemon, which saved me. As I write this, I sweat and feel nauseous.
Even as late as the 1990's I had problems with car sickness. If I was traveling long distances, I usually laid in a supply of lemon drops or lemon heads, which really help me. I still do use them, and they still do help.
So anyway, after watching Silver Linings Playbook I realized that I could not manage the high speed of the Loop access road or the Loop itself. I took a different route home and did not pass by the Godeke Library http://www.mylubbock.us/departmental-websites/departments/library/top-navigation-library/library-branches/godeke-branch. Which was okay.
So, today, after I did the rest of the housework I wanted to do, and the yard work I wanted to do, it was time to get cleaned up, dressed and ready for the NASW steering committee meeting we had at 3 PM. It was held at a delicatessen in the southwest part of Lubbock. I needed to make some copies for a later in the week project, and there is a Kinko's/Fed Ex in the same shopping area, so that was convenient. On the way home, I bought take out at a local cafeteria, because I wanted corned beef and cabbage. I did not have time, after the meeting to get to the library.
But, this was semi-planned. The books I want are available at the Mahon Library http://www.mylubbock.us/departmental-websites/departments/library/top-navigation-library/library-branches, which is down town. So, Saturday or Sunday, I would have had to make a trip downtown. It is not that far, and is no big deal. But, I chose not to get there. Monday night, I will be at the board meeting for Catholic Charities, Diocese of Lubbock. It is just a few blocks north of the downtown library. So, after the board meeting, I frequently go to the Mahon Library to check out books. That is my plan for this coming Monday.
It is perfectly okay that I do not have a book to read tonight. The truth be known, I probably have several in the house that I have not read.
What is not okay is that I am now trying to deal with a slight case of vertigo, which has been brought on by the memory of other incidents. But, I think I am okay.
I tried to read The Other Woman's House. It is the sixth in a series that focuses on two detectives. It is supposed to be a well written book Maybe if I knew the two detectives better before I read this book, I would have stayed with it. But I did not. The woman who reported a murder was whiny, paranoid, disrespectful, thought the worst of her husband, her family and it seems almost everyone with whom she had contact. She assumed no one wanted to help her, and she lied to the authorities. Her lies to the authorities was the last straw for me.
I was describing this character to a coworker who said what I thought: "It sounds like our patients."
Now, do not get me wrong. I really try to be respectful to my patients, and try to help them. I believe them until I am proven wrong. I enter into the therapeutic relationship with the belief that I can offer them something if they are willing to work to make a change.
But many of my patients have the same attitude as I described in the woman character above. They assume I am not going to help them, and they act entitled to rights they gave up when they committed their crimes. They are disrespectful, paranoid and suspicious of all non-offenders, and sometimes, of other offenders. This is a difficult population to deal with. Sometimes their paranoia is psychotic, sometimes it is just disrespectful. This is difficult to differentiate.
So, why would I spend my off time reading about a person who fits that description. Well, I would not.
I had been reading A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. It became due at the library, and I thought I had already renewed it once, so I turned it in, but wrote myself a note regarding where I stopped reading it. I plan to check it out again. A few days after I turned the book in, I found the original check out receipt, and realized I could have renewed it. I do not know why I did not get online and try to renew it, anyway. The electronic library program would have told me if I could renew it or not. Duh!
Well, for another book club, I have been reading another Bill Bryson book: I'm a Stranger Here Myself. I thought I might finish it today, and I did.
I did not get to the library yesterday for a couple of reasons: I was going to the movies with a friend, late morning, and I wanted to get other errands and chores run before going to the movie. I had thought I might stop at the library on the way home from the movie. But that route required me to use the Loop access road, if not the Loop itself. I left the movie physically ill: I saw Silver Linings Playbook http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1045658/ and the camera action and whirling dancing made me physically dizzy and nauseous.
This is not a new phenomenon with me. I went to see Premonition http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0477071/ with a friend. It was not the sort of movie I would normally watch, but the friend wanted to see it, and we had not done anything together in some time, so I went. The back and forth reality of that movie literally made me ill.
For both movies, it took me several hours to recover, and just thinking about Premonition brings back the vertigo https://www.google.com/search?q=Vertigo&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-Address&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7ADBF.
I did not know I suffered vertigo until I started working at the Montford Unit in 1995. It was some time after I started that job that I realized what was going on. I had watched the the Alfred Hitchcock thriller Vertigo http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052357/ as a teenager, but never related it to what happens to me.
I used to get car sick very easily. My parents tried everything: full stomach, empty stomach, suckers, window seat, open window. It did not matter, when I was little, a long car trip usually resulted in nausea and vomiting. And because I hated the sibling ridicule, I usually waited until it was almost or was too late to express my distress. As I aged, I did better.
I could not do merry-go-rounds, or any type of circular movement amusement rides. Roller coasters, bumper cars, and chair lifts were fine. When we went to the amusement park, Mountain Park http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mountain_Park_(Holyoke,_Massachusetts) near my home when I was growing up, I tried the rides. I just could not do them, and spent large parts of the day feeling awful. (As I write this, I feel awful, the memory is so powerful.)
As a teenager, I did not want to obtain a driver's license. There was more than one reason, but one was the problem with carsickness. My best friend wanted her license, and my parents really believed I should get it, so they encouraged me to take driver's education with my friend, and I did get my driver's license. I am ever grateful to my friend and my parents for their advocacy reagarding getting my driver's license. And, I discovered that I did not get car sick when I drove.
I remember the first time Lisenby and I went to the South Plains Fair http://www.southplainsfair.com/. He loved the rides. I could not convince him that I would get sick on anything that rotated. We did several things that I could handle, like the Fun House, the roller coaster, and I do not know what else. We did the Pirate Ship, which made me a little queasy, but it was manageable. He wanted to go on some rocket ship revolver ride, and I protested heavily, but he prevailed. Part way through the ride, he recognized my distress, and was able to signal the operator that I needed off. I was done for the night. I felt bad that I ruined his night, but if he had listened to me, and gone on the ride alone (a bummer, I know) he would have had more fun that night. We did not repeat that mistake.
I recall a plane trip from Lubbock to Waco, in the late 1980's. The trip to Dallas was fine, but the trip from Dallas to Waco was on a very small plane. The attendant could see me becoming physically ill, and asked what would help. He offered mints, and I said lemon: he had a cut up lemon, which saved me. As I write this, I sweat and feel nauseous.
Even as late as the 1990's I had problems with car sickness. If I was traveling long distances, I usually laid in a supply of lemon drops or lemon heads, which really help me. I still do use them, and they still do help.
So anyway, after watching Silver Linings Playbook I realized that I could not manage the high speed of the Loop access road or the Loop itself. I took a different route home and did not pass by the Godeke Library http://www.mylubbock.us/departmental-websites/departments/library/top-navigation-library/library-branches/godeke-branch. Which was okay.
So, today, after I did the rest of the housework I wanted to do, and the yard work I wanted to do, it was time to get cleaned up, dressed and ready for the NASW steering committee meeting we had at 3 PM. It was held at a delicatessen in the southwest part of Lubbock. I needed to make some copies for a later in the week project, and there is a Kinko's/Fed Ex in the same shopping area, so that was convenient. On the way home, I bought take out at a local cafeteria, because I wanted corned beef and cabbage. I did not have time, after the meeting to get to the library.
But, this was semi-planned. The books I want are available at the Mahon Library http://www.mylubbock.us/departmental-websites/departments/library/top-navigation-library/library-branches, which is down town. So, Saturday or Sunday, I would have had to make a trip downtown. It is not that far, and is no big deal. But, I chose not to get there. Monday night, I will be at the board meeting for Catholic Charities, Diocese of Lubbock. It is just a few blocks north of the downtown library. So, after the board meeting, I frequently go to the Mahon Library to check out books. That is my plan for this coming Monday.
It is perfectly okay that I do not have a book to read tonight. The truth be known, I probably have several in the house that I have not read.
What is not okay is that I am now trying to deal with a slight case of vertigo, which has been brought on by the memory of other incidents. But, I think I am okay.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
On the Computer for the First Time Today
It is Saturday, and I usually get on the computer sometimes in the morning, and again off and on throughout the day. But not today.
I got up and did errands and some housework, then went off to meet a friend to see a movie. There was some strange movements, including rapid circular dancing near the end. I became dizzy and a little nauseous. I went home and laid down, and later made a bowl of white rice to settle my stomach.
It was really pretty out, and we have been talking about kayaking at work, a lot. It seems there are several officers who have discovered the kayaking bug, or have had it for some time.
It was probably in the high 70s or low 80s, but it felt good enough to go out. When I got to the lake, the wind was brisker than at the house, but it was not too strong. I am badly out of shape, and once around the lake took me a littler longer than usual, but not much. It was so pretty when I got home, I decided I just needed to get some yard work done. I worked in the front and back yard for a while, then fed cats and had my own dinner. I sat outside to eat, and read for a while.
So, it was almost 7:30 PM when I got on the computer for the first time today. For a weekday, this is not totally unusual, although I try to check my emails at work, at least once. But this is unheard of for a weekend day.
But, what I did felt good. I will sleep well tonight, I suspect. I am glad I did what I did today!
I got up and did errands and some housework, then went off to meet a friend to see a movie. There was some strange movements, including rapid circular dancing near the end. I became dizzy and a little nauseous. I went home and laid down, and later made a bowl of white rice to settle my stomach.
It was really pretty out, and we have been talking about kayaking at work, a lot. It seems there are several officers who have discovered the kayaking bug, or have had it for some time.
It was probably in the high 70s or low 80s, but it felt good enough to go out. When I got to the lake, the wind was brisker than at the house, but it was not too strong. I am badly out of shape, and once around the lake took me a littler longer than usual, but not much. It was so pretty when I got home, I decided I just needed to get some yard work done. I worked in the front and back yard for a while, then fed cats and had my own dinner. I sat outside to eat, and read for a while.
So, it was almost 7:30 PM when I got on the computer for the first time today. For a weekday, this is not totally unusual, although I try to check my emails at work, at least once. But this is unheard of for a weekend day.
But, what I did felt good. I will sleep well tonight, I suspect. I am glad I did what I did today!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Ice Station Zebra
I do not know why, but the movie Ice Station Zebra http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0063121/ is a favorite of mine.
Tonight, it started about 1030 PM and is scheduled to air until after 1 AM. I am watching it as I am doing computer activities.
But those computer activities are coming to a close. As much as I would like to continue to watch Ice Station Zebra I am very aware that I need to get up and go to work in the morning, and watching the rest of this movie might make it difficult for me to get up and get going.
So, what do I do.....
Tonight, it started about 1030 PM and is scheduled to air until after 1 AM. I am watching it as I am doing computer activities.
But those computer activities are coming to a close. As much as I would like to continue to watch Ice Station Zebra I am very aware that I need to get up and go to work in the morning, and watching the rest of this movie might make it difficult for me to get up and get going.
So, what do I do.....
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Learning Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture
I hear a lot of music in my head. I do not think this is psychotic. I think this is brain memory. I can hear the music and dialogue for several musicals that I love, including "My Fair Lady," "West Side Story," "Fiddler on the Roof," and "Guys and Dolls." To a lesser extent, I can hear a lot of the music for "Oklahoma," "South Pacific," "White Christmas," and "Holiday Inn." I can almost repeat the music and dialogue for most of these movies. Repetition and valuation has provided me with the knowledge and familiarity I have.
There are a lot of classical musical pieces that I really enjoy, but most recently, I have decided that I want to learn Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. This is a wonderful piece that the United States has adopted as an accompaniment to the Independence Day fireworks displays at various places across the nation. I would like to play it in my head.
So, I will listen to it more and more so I can start learning it the way I have learned other musical pieces.
There are a lot of classical musical pieces that I really enjoy, but most recently, I have decided that I want to learn Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. This is a wonderful piece that the United States has adopted as an accompaniment to the Independence Day fireworks displays at various places across the nation. I would like to play it in my head.
So, I will listen to it more and more so I can start learning it the way I have learned other musical pieces.
Daylight Savings Time Gone Wrong or Three Cats Are a Charm
So, Sake is my "alarm cat." Somewhere along the line I "got it" that she did not like the bird noises of my alarm clock, because she would awaken me about 5 minutes before the alarm went off. Well, for some reason, those noises malfunctioned, and I was left with only the buzzer alarm. After that, Sake was not as consistent or persistent about trying to wake me up before the alarm went off, although, more often than not, that did happen.
But, even when the bird noises were working, I used the snooze feature a lot. I do not think Sake liked it, but what could she do? Only so much.
For the last couple of years, I have had a regular buzzer for my alarm. Sake has developed great discernment, and has even learned that some mornings, when I shut the alarm off, rather than snooze (holidays, weekends) I am not planning to arise early, and she does not bother me.
Well, with the advent of Daylight Savings Time this spring, something has gone terribly wrong. For the last three mornings, Sake has taken it upon herself to wake me up an hour early. I think she got the spring forward, fall back message mixed up, and thinks we need to get up at what is now 4:30 AM but was 3:30 AM. The bigger problem is, the other cats have gotten involved. So, after Sake tells me to get up at 4:30 AM, about 30 minutes later, Haiku reminds me it is time to get up. And 30 minutes later, Taki tells me it is time to get up. As you might imagine, Monday morning, I slogged my way through this and did not get up until much later, about 6 AM DST. Tuesday morning, I got up earlier than usual, but not so bad. Today, I was wide awake at 4:30 AM and could not go back to sleep. I tossed, turned, and snuggled, but finally got up earlier than usual.
I will say that the third cat is the charm. I mean, if you have three cats telling you to get up, sooner or later you have to listen to one of them. I will admit, sometimes, I do not, but mostly , when the third cat gets involved, I know it is time to get up and face the day.
I know eventually we will return to a homeostasis regarding alarm clocks, morning risings, and the like. But meanwhile, I hope we can all be tolerant of our understanding of Daylight Savings Time, and what time we need to do to get up to go to work.
But, even when the bird noises were working, I used the snooze feature a lot. I do not think Sake liked it, but what could she do? Only so much.
For the last couple of years, I have had a regular buzzer for my alarm. Sake has developed great discernment, and has even learned that some mornings, when I shut the alarm off, rather than snooze (holidays, weekends) I am not planning to arise early, and she does not bother me.
Well, with the advent of Daylight Savings Time this spring, something has gone terribly wrong. For the last three mornings, Sake has taken it upon herself to wake me up an hour early. I think she got the spring forward, fall back message mixed up, and thinks we need to get up at what is now 4:30 AM but was 3:30 AM. The bigger problem is, the other cats have gotten involved. So, after Sake tells me to get up at 4:30 AM, about 30 minutes later, Haiku reminds me it is time to get up. And 30 minutes later, Taki tells me it is time to get up. As you might imagine, Monday morning, I slogged my way through this and did not get up until much later, about 6 AM DST. Tuesday morning, I got up earlier than usual, but not so bad. Today, I was wide awake at 4:30 AM and could not go back to sleep. I tossed, turned, and snuggled, but finally got up earlier than usual.
I will say that the third cat is the charm. I mean, if you have three cats telling you to get up, sooner or later you have to listen to one of them. I will admit, sometimes, I do not, but mostly , when the third cat gets involved, I know it is time to get up and face the day.
I know eventually we will return to a homeostasis regarding alarm clocks, morning risings, and the like. But meanwhile, I hope we can all be tolerant of our understanding of Daylight Savings Time, and what time we need to do to get up to go to work.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Creature Comfort
The outside temperature is mid-range tonight. Which means that my house will be a little on the cool side. I believe that I have mentioned this before: when It is very hot or very cold outside, my house is comfortably cool or snugly warm. But at the mid-range temperatures, the heater does not come on as often, and the house stays on the cold side for my taste.
I deal with this in various ways: sometimes I notch up the thermostat. More often, I put more clothes on, or use an afghan to help me to stay warm. And, I turn on a space heater. Tonight, I have opted for a space heater in the computer room. It does not seem to be warming me as much as I would like, although it has in the near past, and is turned on high.
But the evening is winding down, and I shall soon move to the living room, cover up with my favorite throw, and read until it is time to go to bed.
I have said before I would like a house with a wood burning fireplace and a sun room. But I am not sure I am willing to get into debt to buy a new house, and I do not want to deal with the remodelling hassle in this house. So, I limp along, and take what creature comforts I can from what I have. And, I have plenty.
I deal with this in various ways: sometimes I notch up the thermostat. More often, I put more clothes on, or use an afghan to help me to stay warm. And, I turn on a space heater. Tonight, I have opted for a space heater in the computer room. It does not seem to be warming me as much as I would like, although it has in the near past, and is turned on high.
But the evening is winding down, and I shall soon move to the living room, cover up with my favorite throw, and read until it is time to go to bed.
I have said before I would like a house with a wood burning fireplace and a sun room. But I am not sure I am willing to get into debt to buy a new house, and I do not want to deal with the remodelling hassle in this house. So, I limp along, and take what creature comforts I can from what I have. And, I have plenty.
Checking Traffic
I like to check the traffic that is monitoring my blog. Most recently, the United States has been the primary source but China continues to linger in there. Today, I noticed that France, Germany and Moldova showed up on the list.
Hmmmm. Where is Moldova? And why are they checking my blog. Well, Moldova is a small, land locked Eastern European country a little northwest of the Black Sea. I do not know much of anything about Moldova. I am not concerned that someone there is checking my blog. I just can not imagine it has much of interest from someone from Moldova.
Hmmmm. Where is Moldova? And why are they checking my blog. Well, Moldova is a small, land locked Eastern European country a little northwest of the Black Sea. I do not know much of anything about Moldova. I am not concerned that someone there is checking my blog. I just can not imagine it has much of interest from someone from Moldova.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Daylight Savings Time, A Funeral, and Monday In General
Monday is an especially tense day for me. I do not spend time on Sunday dreading having to go to work on Monday. I spend very little time on Sunday thinking about going to work on Monday. In fact, most Sundays, once I wake up, and decide it is not a work day, I do not think about work again.
Until I wake up on Monday, and know that I have to go to work. But I am usually tense on Mondays. I worry about what I forgot about last week that I need to remember this week. I want to get as much work done as I can. I am goal or task oriented, and I worry, that if I screw up on Monday, I will be behind the rest of the week. So, for me, Mondays are tense.
I have long said that I do not do anything on a Monday night that feels like work: no housework, yard work only if it something I enjoy, no serious decisions. Well, I have had to break my rule. Once a month, I go to the Catholic Charities board meeting on a Monday night. But, I do try to keep my rule.
Today was an especially tough day. It is the first work morning after the change to Daylight Savings Time. So, when I got up, 6 o'clock on the clock was 5 o'clock in the body. I dragged myself to work, and arrived on time, but barely. I left work to attend the funeral of the husband of a co-worker, midday, and returned to work.
I stayed at work to accomplish all the tasks that I wanted to do this day. Which meant that I stayed later than usual, but because of leaving for the funeral, I did not work overtime.
After work, I had a couple of errands to run, so arrived home at about 6:45 PM. I fed cats and did homecoming chores, and could not wait to sit and just be.
Even now, though, sitting and writing, I am having trouble relaxing my body. I am in an upright chair. I think I need to move to a reclining chair to get the relaxation that I need.
Mondays are tough Funerals on Mondays make them tougher. And the time change makes my body feel out of whack.
Until I wake up on Monday, and know that I have to go to work. But I am usually tense on Mondays. I worry about what I forgot about last week that I need to remember this week. I want to get as much work done as I can. I am goal or task oriented, and I worry, that if I screw up on Monday, I will be behind the rest of the week. So, for me, Mondays are tense.
I have long said that I do not do anything on a Monday night that feels like work: no housework, yard work only if it something I enjoy, no serious decisions. Well, I have had to break my rule. Once a month, I go to the Catholic Charities board meeting on a Monday night. But, I do try to keep my rule.
Today was an especially tough day. It is the first work morning after the change to Daylight Savings Time. So, when I got up, 6 o'clock on the clock was 5 o'clock in the body. I dragged myself to work, and arrived on time, but barely. I left work to attend the funeral of the husband of a co-worker, midday, and returned to work.
I stayed at work to accomplish all the tasks that I wanted to do this day. Which meant that I stayed later than usual, but because of leaving for the funeral, I did not work overtime.
After work, I had a couple of errands to run, so arrived home at about 6:45 PM. I fed cats and did homecoming chores, and could not wait to sit and just be.
Even now, though, sitting and writing, I am having trouble relaxing my body. I am in an upright chair. I think I need to move to a reclining chair to get the relaxation that I need.
Mondays are tough Funerals on Mondays make them tougher. And the time change makes my body feel out of whack.
SNAP!
I have been struggling with my conscience in regards to writing about this topic, but after some open and honest discussions with co-workers today, I have decided I will try to address this topic in the most careful and respectful way I can.
It is my perception that many people on the South Plains want to believe that we live in a world, here, that is not subject to all of pressures and influences of the modern world. Well, of course, that is nonsense. But people in West Texas are insular, or at least, think that we are insular, or that they want us to be insular.
But the South Plains is subject to all the influences, pressures and lifestyle problems that are found anywhere else in the world. And, that being the case, the people of the South Plains are subject to the pressures and payload, emotional, psychological, financial, that people the world over find that they, too are subjected to.
Most recently, there have been two incidents that have brought this home to me. A co-worker, known to me in passing, engaged in a most horrific and tragic episode that resulted in two deaths, and later, he himself, died in an automobile accident. Why these events occurred, we may never know. It is not our right to explore and dissect the inner workings of the families involved, who have suffered horrifically, and who will continue to suffer, given the legacy of the actions of this person.
These families deserve our circumspect respect. They do not need to suffer our prying eyes. I am not trying to intrude. I want to use this as a learning experience for us all.
The repercussions of the acts of this person are multi fold: The pain and suffering from the losses that spreads across the immediate and extended families. The shame and guilt associated with the man's actions. The faith that at some moment before his death, he made his peace with God, and that we are better human beings because we understand that this instantaneous revelation can occur.
His actions were so out of character and make so little sense, I have to believe he had some sort of psychotic break . Otherwise it makes no sense. The question is, what are the pressures and stressors that mounted to the point that this psychotic break occurred. We cannot know the load that another human being carries, and what one more stressor can do to that person.
Some of us are not schooled in the skill of decreasing stress, knowing our limits or even asking for help. Many of us could not recognize, in ourselves, when we get to the breaking point, and that is frightening.
The second event is the suicide death of a young man who, many would have thought, had the life many others would want to live. It is hard to know why this young man engaged in the irrevocable act of suicide. What pressures and stressors we could not see from without that he was not handling appropriately from within. What are the pressures and stressors that a young man might experience that would drive him to this ultimate act of desperation.
Because I am not in the inner circle, I will never know. I do not know if those in the inner circle will ever know.
But I do know that we must treat all life with value, treasure, respect, dignity and immense caring. I believe if we give humans true understanding of their worth, as humans because they are human, and do not have to have value added to their lives, the quality of their lives will improve.
For the poor, the down-trodden, the victimized, the abused, the under-appreciated, and often, the disabled of mind and body, this notion of inner worth often is non-existent. I spend a lot of time talking to patients about the fact that they have value simply because they are a living human being, and no one can take that away from them.
I cannot know what bundle of stressors caused these two people to SNAP. I can only hope that in the course of my days as a social worker, I am able to reach out to people and maybe help someone who is close to snapping, but does not.
More importantly, as we go about our daily lives, I hope we develop a sense of caring and compassion that helps everyone in our world to stay away from that desperate edge. I hope we remember to be kind, considerate, respectful, caring and compassionate, so we send the message to all with whom we have contact, that they are a wonderful, special, unique and valuable human being.
It is my perception that many people on the South Plains want to believe that we live in a world, here, that is not subject to all of pressures and influences of the modern world. Well, of course, that is nonsense. But people in West Texas are insular, or at least, think that we are insular, or that they want us to be insular.
But the South Plains is subject to all the influences, pressures and lifestyle problems that are found anywhere else in the world. And, that being the case, the people of the South Plains are subject to the pressures and payload, emotional, psychological, financial, that people the world over find that they, too are subjected to.
Most recently, there have been two incidents that have brought this home to me. A co-worker, known to me in passing, engaged in a most horrific and tragic episode that resulted in two deaths, and later, he himself, died in an automobile accident. Why these events occurred, we may never know. It is not our right to explore and dissect the inner workings of the families involved, who have suffered horrifically, and who will continue to suffer, given the legacy of the actions of this person.
These families deserve our circumspect respect. They do not need to suffer our prying eyes. I am not trying to intrude. I want to use this as a learning experience for us all.
The repercussions of the acts of this person are multi fold: The pain and suffering from the losses that spreads across the immediate and extended families. The shame and guilt associated with the man's actions. The faith that at some moment before his death, he made his peace with God, and that we are better human beings because we understand that this instantaneous revelation can occur.
His actions were so out of character and make so little sense, I have to believe he had some sort of psychotic break . Otherwise it makes no sense. The question is, what are the pressures and stressors that mounted to the point that this psychotic break occurred. We cannot know the load that another human being carries, and what one more stressor can do to that person.
Some of us are not schooled in the skill of decreasing stress, knowing our limits or even asking for help. Many of us could not recognize, in ourselves, when we get to the breaking point, and that is frightening.
The second event is the suicide death of a young man who, many would have thought, had the life many others would want to live. It is hard to know why this young man engaged in the irrevocable act of suicide. What pressures and stressors we could not see from without that he was not handling appropriately from within. What are the pressures and stressors that a young man might experience that would drive him to this ultimate act of desperation.
Because I am not in the inner circle, I will never know. I do not know if those in the inner circle will ever know.
But I do know that we must treat all life with value, treasure, respect, dignity and immense caring. I believe if we give humans true understanding of their worth, as humans because they are human, and do not have to have value added to their lives, the quality of their lives will improve.
For the poor, the down-trodden, the victimized, the abused, the under-appreciated, and often, the disabled of mind and body, this notion of inner worth often is non-existent. I spend a lot of time talking to patients about the fact that they have value simply because they are a living human being, and no one can take that away from them.
I cannot know what bundle of stressors caused these two people to SNAP. I can only hope that in the course of my days as a social worker, I am able to reach out to people and maybe help someone who is close to snapping, but does not.
More importantly, as we go about our daily lives, I hope we develop a sense of caring and compassion that helps everyone in our world to stay away from that desperate edge. I hope we remember to be kind, considerate, respectful, caring and compassionate, so we send the message to all with whom we have contact, that they are a wonderful, special, unique and valuable human being.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
It Is a Beautiful Day
Today is a beautiful day, weather wise. The sun has been shining, and until just recently the sky has been a clear azure blue expanse. Now, some thin clouds are moving in. The temperatures are in the high 40s or low 50s. But it has been windy, and the wind makes the air temperature feel colder.
The problem for me is the wind. It takes my breath away. And worse. The last two dust events we have had have resulted in my having bronchial problems. I am sensitive to allergens and bronchial pollutants, and have been, only mildly, since before moving to West Texas, but this has been exacerbated over the years I have lived in West Texas.
I am so sensitive that I can be in one part of a room, building or even public park, and become very congested, but moving can almost immediately result in the congestion being relieved. I never know when this will occur. And, it is frustrating for me, because I do not know what will precipitate the problem.
I just know that when the wind is blowing, if I do not need to get out in it, I should stay inside. So, I have.
The problem for me is the wind. It takes my breath away. And worse. The last two dust events we have had have resulted in my having bronchial problems. I am sensitive to allergens and bronchial pollutants, and have been, only mildly, since before moving to West Texas, but this has been exacerbated over the years I have lived in West Texas.
I am so sensitive that I can be in one part of a room, building or even public park, and become very congested, but moving can almost immediately result in the congestion being relieved. I never know when this will occur. And, it is frustrating for me, because I do not know what will precipitate the problem.
I just know that when the wind is blowing, if I do not need to get out in it, I should stay inside. So, I have.
Dayligth Savings Time
At 2 AM this morning, March 10,2013, we were supposed to advance our clocks by one hour, as it is the start of Daylight Savings Time http://www.timetemperature.com/tzus/daylight_saving_time.shtml; http://www.timeanddate.com/time/dst/. Well, I do not get up in the middle of the night to change my clocks, and the last several years, I have just waited until Sunday morning to change my clocks, although we are advised to change our clocks before we go to bed. But I wait.
I am not sure why we do this. Of course, I have read and heard the explanations over the years, but it still makes no sense to me. I think the people in Arizona have it right, as they do not change to daylight savings time. They maintain the same through out the year.
Which totally proves the contrived nature of daylight saving time: If I travel from New Mexico, California, Nevada or Utah to Arizona, the official time changes. But nothing else does. My internal clock does not change. The position of the earth or sun does not change. The temperature does not change. The world does not change.
But, to be in synchronization with the world in which I live, I make the change.
I am not sure why we do this. Of course, I have read and heard the explanations over the years, but it still makes no sense to me. I think the people in Arizona have it right, as they do not change to daylight savings time. They maintain the same through out the year.
Which totally proves the contrived nature of daylight saving time: If I travel from New Mexico, California, Nevada or Utah to Arizona, the official time changes. But nothing else does. My internal clock does not change. The position of the earth or sun does not change. The temperature does not change. The world does not change.
But, to be in synchronization with the world in which I live, I make the change.
Knitting
I like to knit. I have been knitting on projects since I was a young girl, and made my first afghan while I was in high school. Over the years, I have knitted ponchos, scarves, hats, mittens, slippers, baby clothes, including booties, afghans, baby blankets, dog sweaters, and even some toys.
I stopped knitting in the late 80's because it bothered my shoulders. But I discovered naproxen, and that changed things. So, I started knitting again. I used to be able to knit for hours on end. But even with naproxen, I cannot do that anymore, because my hands get sore. I have some "hand-aids" which are finger-less nylon gloves that help. But my hands still get stiff and sore.
I like to knit while I am watching TV, especially sports. I used to be able to knit during an entire NASCAR race, but I can not do that any more.
I have discovered that I can extend the amount of knitting I do if I intersperse other activities with knitting. For example, I have been watching sports today (and still am.) Earlier, during the commercials, I would stop knitting and read. So, instead of knitting for maybe an hour, I was able to knit for almost 2.5 hours, and completed almost two inches of the baby blanket I am working on.
But, my hands are sore. So I am taking a break from knitting, and will play on the computer for a while, before I go back to knitting and reading.
I stopped knitting in the late 80's because it bothered my shoulders. But I discovered naproxen, and that changed things. So, I started knitting again. I used to be able to knit for hours on end. But even with naproxen, I cannot do that anymore, because my hands get sore. I have some "hand-aids" which are finger-less nylon gloves that help. But my hands still get stiff and sore.
I like to knit while I am watching TV, especially sports. I used to be able to knit during an entire NASCAR race, but I can not do that any more.
I have discovered that I can extend the amount of knitting I do if I intersperse other activities with knitting. For example, I have been watching sports today (and still am.) Earlier, during the commercials, I would stop knitting and read. So, instead of knitting for maybe an hour, I was able to knit for almost 2.5 hours, and completed almost two inches of the baby blanket I am working on.
But, my hands are sore. So I am taking a break from knitting, and will play on the computer for a while, before I go back to knitting and reading.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Task vs. Time Oriented
Social workers do not get paid well. That is just a fact.
I have been a salaried employee in every social work job I have ever had. In all of them, I have to say, I have not been able to confine myself to a 40 hour week. I am not time oriented. I am task oriented. So, I set myself an expectation task list, which is flexible and adjustable, but I plan my work day to try to accomplish my task list.
My thought is, if I am doing what I am suppose to be doing, I will be taking care of my patients, and working enough time to satisfy my obligations to my employer. But, I seem to always set my expectations too high, as I almost always work overtime.
When I was bottle feeding Taki, I had to go home during the day and after a certain time, to feed her. I think that has been the first time in years that I was close to working 40 hours a week. When I worked at the Texas Department of Health, we were discouraged from working overtime. I worked 40 hours, but I got to work early, and did not always leave at 5 PM.
But I have a hard time leaving early. I have a hard time going in late. And, I always seem to expect I can do more in the allotted time than I really can.
I am just task oriented.
I have been a salaried employee in every social work job I have ever had. In all of them, I have to say, I have not been able to confine myself to a 40 hour week. I am not time oriented. I am task oriented. So, I set myself an expectation task list, which is flexible and adjustable, but I plan my work day to try to accomplish my task list.
My thought is, if I am doing what I am suppose to be doing, I will be taking care of my patients, and working enough time to satisfy my obligations to my employer. But, I seem to always set my expectations too high, as I almost always work overtime.
When I was bottle feeding Taki, I had to go home during the day and after a certain time, to feed her. I think that has been the first time in years that I was close to working 40 hours a week. When I worked at the Texas Department of Health, we were discouraged from working overtime. I worked 40 hours, but I got to work early, and did not always leave at 5 PM.
But I have a hard time leaving early. I have a hard time going in late. And, I always seem to expect I can do more in the allotted time than I really can.
I am just task oriented.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
The News
Until a few weeks ago, I was a subscriber to the local newspaper, the Lubbock Avalanche Journal. I am not sure when the last avalanche occurred in Lubbock, but the journal makes sense. When I moved to Lubbock in 1977, the Lubbock Avalanche and the Lubbock Journal were a morning and evening newspaper. I can not tell you when they merged into a morning edition only. But I can tell you that for most of the time that I have lived in Lubbock since 1977, I have been a newspaper subscriber.
The cost of the newspaper has skyrocketed. Last year, the cost was $130 or so. I thought it was too much, but I did like having the newspaper hard copy at home, and I used the newspaper for linings under the cat litter pans and food dishes.
This year, the price went up to $180. That was more than I wanted to spend. I will do something else to have underlinings for the cat pans and dishes.
It has felt very uncomfortable not to get the newspaper every day. I did not read it thoroughly, as did Lisenby, but I checked it out. Headlines, stories to my interest, events, sports, entertainment, puzzles and games.
For the last 10 or more years, I have not watched the local news. I have watched the Weather Channel http://www.weather.com/, and that is the site that gave me most of my news. In addition to the local newspaper, I did get headlines, online from The Austin Statesman and The New York Times. I also read the online version of The Recorder the newspaper for my hometown area, published out of Greenfield, Massachusetts.
So, with the end of my hard copy newspaper subscription, I have changed my habits and lifestyle. I watch the morning, evening, and sometimes night time news. I do not listen closely, but pay attention if a story means something to me. I get frustrated that something that I hear during the early evening news is presented not only in the late news, which I understand, but the next day's morning news, as if it is fresh information. But it is not. I think that is shoddy reporting.
During my drive time to and from work, I listen the the local NPR radio station: KTTZ. The Morning Edition and All Things Considered has wonderful news stories, in depth interest stories, and is generally of high quality.
I was visiting with co-workers today. I was amazed at their lack of local awareness about the news. So this makes me wonder. If they do not know about the local news, are they also unaware of the national news. Are they unaware of "The Sequester" that will impact all of our lives, mostly negatively. What else do they not known about that is happening in our world?
I thought I was not very aware or informed, but when I compare my awareness to my colleagues, I know A LOT!
The cost of the newspaper has skyrocketed. Last year, the cost was $130 or so. I thought it was too much, but I did like having the newspaper hard copy at home, and I used the newspaper for linings under the cat litter pans and food dishes.
This year, the price went up to $180. That was more than I wanted to spend. I will do something else to have underlinings for the cat pans and dishes.
It has felt very uncomfortable not to get the newspaper every day. I did not read it thoroughly, as did Lisenby, but I checked it out. Headlines, stories to my interest, events, sports, entertainment, puzzles and games.
For the last 10 or more years, I have not watched the local news. I have watched the Weather Channel http://www.weather.com/, and that is the site that gave me most of my news. In addition to the local newspaper, I did get headlines, online from The Austin Statesman and The New York Times. I also read the online version of The Recorder the newspaper for my hometown area, published out of Greenfield, Massachusetts.
So, with the end of my hard copy newspaper subscription, I have changed my habits and lifestyle. I watch the morning, evening, and sometimes night time news. I do not listen closely, but pay attention if a story means something to me. I get frustrated that something that I hear during the early evening news is presented not only in the late news, which I understand, but the next day's morning news, as if it is fresh information. But it is not. I think that is shoddy reporting.
During my drive time to and from work, I listen the the local NPR radio station: KTTZ. The Morning Edition and All Things Considered has wonderful news stories, in depth interest stories, and is generally of high quality.
I was visiting with co-workers today. I was amazed at their lack of local awareness about the news. So this makes me wonder. If they do not know about the local news, are they also unaware of the national news. Are they unaware of "The Sequester" that will impact all of our lives, mostly negatively. What else do they not known about that is happening in our world?
I thought I was not very aware or informed, but when I compare my awareness to my colleagues, I know A LOT!
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Beethoven's 5th Symphony, Rossini's William Tell Overture, and Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture
In my mind, these are probably three of the most known and identifiable pieces of classical music that exist.
The 4 opening notes of Beethoven's 5th http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symphony_No._5_(Beethoven) are amazing. They symbolize the letter V in Morse Code, and the letter V in Roman Numerals is the symbol for the letter 5. The notes are repeated throughout the piece. They are so simple, but so profound. I cannot express the emotion that wells up within me when I hear this piece of music. Beethoven was such a genius.
Rossini's William Tell Overture http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Tell_Overture received a commercial and recognition boost when it was used for the theme music for The Lone Ranger. I suspect most people who are familiar with this piece do not know the classical origin, but I could be wrong.
Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1812_Overture is beyond amazing. I cannot tell you what emotions well up within when I hear this piece. There are such sequences that amaze, enthrall and just overwhelm me. There are sequences that suggest fireworks, and expansiveness and overwhelmingness. It is a piece that for me, excels beyond greatness.
The 4 opening notes of Beethoven's 5th http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symphony_No._5_(Beethoven) are amazing. They symbolize the letter V in Morse Code, and the letter V in Roman Numerals is the symbol for the letter 5. The notes are repeated throughout the piece. They are so simple, but so profound. I cannot express the emotion that wells up within me when I hear this piece of music. Beethoven was such a genius.
Rossini's William Tell Overture http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Tell_Overture received a commercial and recognition boost when it was used for the theme music for The Lone Ranger. I suspect most people who are familiar with this piece do not know the classical origin, but I could be wrong.
Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1812_Overture is beyond amazing. I cannot tell you what emotions well up within when I hear this piece. There are such sequences that amaze, enthrall and just overwhelm me. There are sequences that suggest fireworks, and expansiveness and overwhelmingness. It is a piece that for me, excels beyond greatness.
The Household Temperature
I arrived home from my outing on March 4, 2013, at about 9:30 PM or so. I think it is significant that the temperature that registered at my house, both at the inside thermostat, and from the wireless, remote for outside temperatures, was 73°. Since then the internal temperature of the house has decreased 2°, which is what I would expect, given we will be experiencing a northern front blowing in.
And, the outside temperature has decreased drastically to 48°, at a little before 1 AM, which, I believe is amazing but not unheard of, in West Texas.
Hope you are snug in your home, and not experienceing the vagaries of climate and weather change.
If you are without a home, and need help to withstand the vagaries of weather change, I hope the homeless network of Lubbock can help you. I can not promise answers or resouces, but if you need help, let me know: naswlbbnews@suddenlink.net.
And, the outside temperature has decreased drastically to 48°, at a little before 1 AM, which, I believe is amazing but not unheard of, in West Texas.
Hope you are snug in your home, and not experienceing the vagaries of climate and weather change.
If you are without a home, and need help to withstand the vagaries of weather change, I hope the homeless network of Lubbock can help you. I can not promise answers or resouces, but if you need help, let me know: naswlbbnews@suddenlink.net.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
The Wind is Stout
We were advised that there would be a shift in the wind tonight, from the Northwest to the North, and it would get stronger, and the temperature would get colder. Well, as I sit here at my computer, I can attest to that.
My computer room has windows that face north and east. When the weather comes in from those directions, especially from the north, it is very noticeable to me in the computer room.
Tonight, I am hearing the kind of flapping noise that I associate with very strong gusts of wind, or very strong sustained winds. Mostly gusts, but very strong winds, nevertheless.
We will hope that no one has power outages, or other damage from these strong winds.
My computer room has windows that face north and east. When the weather comes in from those directions, especially from the north, it is very noticeable to me in the computer room.
Tonight, I am hearing the kind of flapping noise that I associate with very strong gusts of wind, or very strong sustained winds. Mostly gusts, but very strong winds, nevertheless.
We will hope that no one has power outages, or other damage from these strong winds.
I Have Not Been a Good Cat Mommy Lately
I have had some trouble being patient and gently with the cats, although it is not intentional, and I have had to BACK OFF.
I have not brushed Sake regularly, and she has become severely matted. Sometimes, she lets me cut the worst of her clumped matts off, but not always. Mostly, she is patient when I want to cut terribly matted clumps on her britches. Which I did several days ago. A few days later, I cut a terribly matted clump from her side: there is a gaping hole in her fur now. I think I must have hurt her feelings, because her resistance to grooming has escalated since then. Cutting the clump was not physically painful. In fact, when I did it, I do not think she realized what I was doing. But she has been very angry with me since then. I guess I can understand: it is like getting a really bad haircut.
The last few days, I have been trying to pull apart or comb out a matt a day, but this has not resulted in any progress with the problem.
Saturday, I just really tried to groom her, and she became very distraught with me. Well, I can not blame her, because trying to comb the matts, even though I try to be gentle, can hurt. Then she yanks away and that pulls even more.
I went on line looking for a cat version of "no more tangles" but found none. I saw a website from a cat owner who suggested using just that. But I hate to put those chemicals, whatever they are, on my cat. One ex-breeder suggested cornstarch. Well, that seems innocuous. The first time I tried to put cornstarch on Sake, she object wildly. But I did get some on her, and later in the day, was able to finger the matts apart. I put more on her yesterday, and later in the day, again, was able to finger the matts apart. It seems the cornstarch helps things to become a little slick. It is not great, but better than what I was doing.
The advice on line said not to comb a cat, but to brush them. So, I got the brush out, and today, I briefly brushed her. I got a few matts. The brush is not as efficient with the matts, but less stressful for her, but still, did not please her.
I have spent a lot of time making nice with her the last couple of days.
Yesterday morning, as I was stumbling around getting up, I stepped on Taki's tail. It was brief, and unintentional, but I hate doing that, to any of my cats.
Tonight, after work, I was feeding the cats but getting ready to go out afterwards. Haiku slipped into the garage, in spite of my efforts to keep her out. I went into the garage and yelled at her, because I did not want her to get on the high shelf, where I could not reach her.
I can not leave from the garage if a cat is in the garage: The opening of the garage door scares them and they become unmanageable. I am afraid to run over a cat if one is in the garage. I am afraid one will escape if I open the garage door. If I leave a cat in the garage and go away, and come back, and open the garage door, I am afraid, once again, one will escape, or I will run over a cat. So this becomes quite a dilemma for me.
Well, I am ashamed that I yelled at Haiku, because I wanted her to get back into the house, and she would not come when I called. Well, much to my chagrin, she jumped to the high shelf. I took a deep breath, and said as sweetly as I could, that she had a half hour, then I would have to get her down. Well, less than ten minutes later, she was off the shelf and I could pick her up and put her in the house. I have petted her gently and often since then, both before and after my outing. She has joined me in the computer room, so I hope she has forgiven me. I was just rude.
After my outing, Sake wanted into the garage. I had decided that any or all three of the cats could go into the garage when I got home. Because the outside garage door sometimes bounces back up, I made a point to be sure it was totally closed before I went into the house. I had some groceries which I took with me. As I said, Sake wanted into the garage, and she was allowed.
The outside garage door opener light was on, when Sake went into the garage. Usually, as a signal to me, if I have a cat in the garage, I turn on the garage light. This is a reminder to me when I am in the house, that there is a cat in the garage. And, if I am working in the front yard, having come around from the back, it is a reminder to me that there is a cat in the garage, and I do not want to open the garage door from the outside key panel. Or, at least, I should err on the side of caution, and assume there is a cat in the garage, and I should not open the outside garage door using the key panel.
Well, I forgot to turn on the garage light, and while checking on Sake, did so after a little while. As is my habit, I again checked a few minutes later to see how Sake was doing. She was at the south end of the garage, and acted very skittish about coming into the house. It was then that I noticed that the garage door was open! And, I was hearing lots of blustering wind from the cold front the was moving in from the north (my garage opens to the north,)
My heart was in my throat!. I did not want Sake to run outside. I knew that closing the garage door would make her even more skittish (if she is standing at the door that goes from the kitchen to the garage when the outside door is going up or down, the noise seems to frighten her.) I stepped into the garage, in the lane between the car and the outside door, and encouraged her to go into the house, which she did, hesitantly.
I am grateful that there was a front blowing in from the north. Sake dislikes the wind. If it had a been a calm night, even a cold, calm night, I suspect she would have ventured outside, and I would have had hell to pay to find her. In reality, she would have returned home on her own terms, and I would have been heart sick in the mean time.
I am not sure why the garage door was open. Years ago, with a different, older, garage door opener, sometimes the garage door would just open of its own accord. One of my neighbors, who was a police officer in a neighboring town, noticed that, and came by one time when that happened, and talked to me about taking precautions and getting it fixed. He was right, and I followed his advice about securing the garage door until I could get it fixed, and then, fixing it.
I am hoping, tonight, when I hit the light switch because Sake was in the garage, I inadvertently hit the garage door opener switch, although they are some inches apart. Otherwise, I have no idea why the outside garage door was open!
I will just keep vigilant about making sure the garage door is closed as it should be. Otherwise, I have a recalcitrant garage door which I, of course, cannot trust to behave as a garage door should.
All three cats are safely inside. The wind has picked up and is making all kinds of rude noises outside. But we are inside. And safe. And, hopefully contented to be inside and safe.
I have not brushed Sake regularly, and she has become severely matted. Sometimes, she lets me cut the worst of her clumped matts off, but not always. Mostly, she is patient when I want to cut terribly matted clumps on her britches. Which I did several days ago. A few days later, I cut a terribly matted clump from her side: there is a gaping hole in her fur now. I think I must have hurt her feelings, because her resistance to grooming has escalated since then. Cutting the clump was not physically painful. In fact, when I did it, I do not think she realized what I was doing. But she has been very angry with me since then. I guess I can understand: it is like getting a really bad haircut.
The last few days, I have been trying to pull apart or comb out a matt a day, but this has not resulted in any progress with the problem.
Saturday, I just really tried to groom her, and she became very distraught with me. Well, I can not blame her, because trying to comb the matts, even though I try to be gentle, can hurt. Then she yanks away and that pulls even more.
I went on line looking for a cat version of "no more tangles" but found none. I saw a website from a cat owner who suggested using just that. But I hate to put those chemicals, whatever they are, on my cat. One ex-breeder suggested cornstarch. Well, that seems innocuous. The first time I tried to put cornstarch on Sake, she object wildly. But I did get some on her, and later in the day, was able to finger the matts apart. I put more on her yesterday, and later in the day, again, was able to finger the matts apart. It seems the cornstarch helps things to become a little slick. It is not great, but better than what I was doing.
The advice on line said not to comb a cat, but to brush them. So, I got the brush out, and today, I briefly brushed her. I got a few matts. The brush is not as efficient with the matts, but less stressful for her, but still, did not please her.
I have spent a lot of time making nice with her the last couple of days.
Yesterday morning, as I was stumbling around getting up, I stepped on Taki's tail. It was brief, and unintentional, but I hate doing that, to any of my cats.
Tonight, after work, I was feeding the cats but getting ready to go out afterwards. Haiku slipped into the garage, in spite of my efforts to keep her out. I went into the garage and yelled at her, because I did not want her to get on the high shelf, where I could not reach her.
I can not leave from the garage if a cat is in the garage: The opening of the garage door scares them and they become unmanageable. I am afraid to run over a cat if one is in the garage. I am afraid one will escape if I open the garage door. If I leave a cat in the garage and go away, and come back, and open the garage door, I am afraid, once again, one will escape, or I will run over a cat. So this becomes quite a dilemma for me.
Well, I am ashamed that I yelled at Haiku, because I wanted her to get back into the house, and she would not come when I called. Well, much to my chagrin, she jumped to the high shelf. I took a deep breath, and said as sweetly as I could, that she had a half hour, then I would have to get her down. Well, less than ten minutes later, she was off the shelf and I could pick her up and put her in the house. I have petted her gently and often since then, both before and after my outing. She has joined me in the computer room, so I hope she has forgiven me. I was just rude.
After my outing, Sake wanted into the garage. I had decided that any or all three of the cats could go into the garage when I got home. Because the outside garage door sometimes bounces back up, I made a point to be sure it was totally closed before I went into the house. I had some groceries which I took with me. As I said, Sake wanted into the garage, and she was allowed.
The outside garage door opener light was on, when Sake went into the garage. Usually, as a signal to me, if I have a cat in the garage, I turn on the garage light. This is a reminder to me when I am in the house, that there is a cat in the garage. And, if I am working in the front yard, having come around from the back, it is a reminder to me that there is a cat in the garage, and I do not want to open the garage door from the outside key panel. Or, at least, I should err on the side of caution, and assume there is a cat in the garage, and I should not open the outside garage door using the key panel.
Well, I forgot to turn on the garage light, and while checking on Sake, did so after a little while. As is my habit, I again checked a few minutes later to see how Sake was doing. She was at the south end of the garage, and acted very skittish about coming into the house. It was then that I noticed that the garage door was open! And, I was hearing lots of blustering wind from the cold front the was moving in from the north (my garage opens to the north,)
My heart was in my throat!. I did not want Sake to run outside. I knew that closing the garage door would make her even more skittish (if she is standing at the door that goes from the kitchen to the garage when the outside door is going up or down, the noise seems to frighten her.) I stepped into the garage, in the lane between the car and the outside door, and encouraged her to go into the house, which she did, hesitantly.
I am grateful that there was a front blowing in from the north. Sake dislikes the wind. If it had a been a calm night, even a cold, calm night, I suspect she would have ventured outside, and I would have had hell to pay to find her. In reality, she would have returned home on her own terms, and I would have been heart sick in the mean time.
I am not sure why the garage door was open. Years ago, with a different, older, garage door opener, sometimes the garage door would just open of its own accord. One of my neighbors, who was a police officer in a neighboring town, noticed that, and came by one time when that happened, and talked to me about taking precautions and getting it fixed. He was right, and I followed his advice about securing the garage door until I could get it fixed, and then, fixing it.
I am hoping, tonight, when I hit the light switch because Sake was in the garage, I inadvertently hit the garage door opener switch, although they are some inches apart. Otherwise, I have no idea why the outside garage door was open!
I will just keep vigilant about making sure the garage door is closed as it should be. Otherwise, I have a recalcitrant garage door which I, of course, cannot trust to behave as a garage door should.
All three cats are safely inside. The wind has picked up and is making all kinds of rude noises outside. But we are inside. And safe. And, hopefully contented to be inside and safe.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Too Much Traffic
I have had a good weekend. It has included listening to the Lady Raider Basketball game on Saturday, doing yard work, enjoying sitting in my yard, watching NASCAR racing, knitting, reading, and watch PBS.
But, there has been an awful lot of sensory input, with little down time. I try to remember to allow for down time, and I try to do it earlier in the day than this. But it did not happen this weekend.
And it probably will not happen tonight.
That is okay.
But, there has been an awful lot of sensory input, with little down time. I try to remember to allow for down time, and I try to do it earlier in the day than this. But it did not happen this weekend.
And it probably will not happen tonight.
That is okay.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Hullabaloo on PBS
Life is so amazing. In the 1960s Hullabaloo was a TV music program that presented the current stars of the rock/popular/folk/and what have you music scene.
Many of the performers were controversial. They were of course, popular, and often considered counter-culture. Much of the music scene in that era was considered controversial.
Well, today, I saw an advertisement for "Hullabaloo" on PBS. PBS is celebrating this absolutely counter-culture, unsophisticated, unacademic music experience.
In the 1960's, would I have expected Hullabaloo to be on PBS? No. But it is music history, and PBS does history well.
Many of the performers were controversial. They were of course, popular, and often considered counter-culture. Much of the music scene in that era was considered controversial.
Well, today, I saw an advertisement for "Hullabaloo" on PBS. PBS is celebrating this absolutely counter-culture, unsophisticated, unacademic music experience.
In the 1960's, would I have expected Hullabaloo to be on PBS? No. But it is music history, and PBS does history well.
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