The Third Person

I had a return visit to the optometrist today, and it went well from my perspective. People were much more explanatory and communicative, and personable than the last visit.  I signed in as I was supposed to but did not get taken to my appointment in a timely way. The nurse I was to see came looking for me:  the front desk was so busy, they never told her I was there.  She understood the problem.

Something happened that disconcerted me, and I am embarrassed to say that I did not speak up, but should have. At one point the optometrist and his nurse were reviewing my record and talking about me in the third person as if I were not present.  I understand this phenomenon. I try not to do this when I am talking about a patient with another provider, but it is an easy mode to fall into.  I did not feel comfortable enough to say "Hey, I am in the room, talk about me as if I am present."  By the end of the visit today, if that had happens again, I would have felt I could say that. 

Before today, my last visit was as had been on a previous visit to this optometrist: I felt like I was treated as a number, a case, a non-entity.  Today, largely because of the personableness of the nurse who did my field of vision test, I felt as if I was being treated as a person, an individual. She even offered me a drink!  Wow!

Anyway, they repeated some tests that they did last time. Last time, one attendant put me in front of a machine that had me sitting in a very uncomfortable position, and although I complained to the attendant (she may be a nurse) she just blew me off. This time, she made a point to ask me if I was comfortable.  The other test they repeated that I had a problem with was frustrating. Last time, the same attendant just "powered me through."  This time, after having dealt with the really good nurse, I asked for time to rest my eyes between session, and asked for the machines to be adjusted better.  I still flunked the test.

Even the optometrist this time was more personable, and talked to me as if I was present, instead of talking over me or talking at me.  I cannot say he talked with me, but he did better.

I am reminded of a situation that I was in some many years ago at my current place of employment. We were in treatment team, which involved a variety of different professionals: social worker (me), psychologist, medical provider, nurse, security and probably some ancillary therapists meeting with a patient.  The patient was Spanish speaking and we had a certified interpreter present. As the meeting progressed, I talked to the patient when it was appropriate for me to talk, and the interpreter did the interpreting. Part way through the session, the psychologist said something that maybe I should have said but did not.

The psychologist said that we were not using the interpreter appropriately, that we all should be talking to the patient and let the interpreter do his job.  That we should not talk about  the patient with the interpreter as if the patient were not present. He also said that he suspected that the social worker in me caused me not to confront my colleagues about the fact they were not behaving as they should, but I just continued to model appropriate behavior so the rest could figure it out for themselves.  You could have heard a pin drop.  Everyone in the room apologized to the patient that they were not talking to him.

I have to wonder how long that lesson lasted with the professionals in that room.

I am reminded about that session because of the way the optometrist and attendant behaved today. I am determined, when I go back for my 6 month follow up, if they behave that way, that I will speak up and say do not talk about me as if I am not in the room, talk with  me and to me.