Nightlights

I have a nightlight for every room in my house, except the bathrooms.  They are all light sensitive.  Some have a yellow glow, and some a more purplish glow.  I am always surprised, in the middle of the night, how much light they afford. I find it very comforting to awaken and not have the house be pitch black, or almost so.

I especially like the effect when the moon is very bright, as it is tonight. I can see very well in the house without the over head lights or area lamps on. 

I wonder if my penchant for not having the house dark effects my ability to sleep.  I am suffering from insomnia, which I have not had in quite some time.  It does not bother me.  There have been periods in my life when I did not get a full night sleep for days on end, and when I did get a through night sleep, it was less than 5 hours.

For years, if I got more than 5 and a half or 6 hours of sleep, I woke up too groggy the next morning. The last sixteen years or so, except for a brief period in 2002 and again in 2004, I have slept better than I ever had in my life.  I think it was a combination of things. 

For a while, I was in a relationship in which I felt very comforted and led to my sleeping well.  I lived in the country, and there was always a lot of physical activity which helped to tire me out.  I had stopped drinking coffee after my morning allotment, and eventually stopped drinking any caffeinated drinks during the day. I know this contributed to my sleeping better.

Well, I am not in that relationship.  I rarely drink any caffeinated drinks, even in the morning.  I am not physically active.  But most nights, by midnight or so, I am ready to sleep.  I have learned, long ago, that if I lay down to sleep before I am sleepy, I will toss and turn, so I might as well stay up until I am sleepy.  I still have an occasional night of less sleep than normal, but not true insomnia as I am experiencing tonight.

I made a mistake tonight. It was well after mid-night; I was reading, but not really sleepy.  But I shut off the light and decided to go to sleep, any way.  I did not even doze.  I have had a pleasant evening thinking and petting first one cat then another as two of them took turns visiting. But I could not sleep.  My eyes are tired, but I am not really sleepy.  Yet.  I will be as it closes in on morning.

I wonder if using the nightlights contributes to my not sleeping.  We had nightlights when I was growing up, but my bedroom was dark.  If we left the shades up, the streetlights shone in, but we generally pulled the shades down, unless it was snowing and we wanted to watch the snow. I had periodic insomnia, even then. 

Being in a strange bed or strange environment does not usually result in my having difficulty sleeping.  Unless I go to bed before I am ready to go to sleep.  Then the same problem arises.

I will wait till I nod off before I try to go back to bed.  If I do not get much sleep tonight, I will do better tomorrow night. Maybe.  I can go for many nights with insomnia.  I drag during the day. But I can not sleep at night. If I take a sleep aid, it is wine.  But I do not want to drink wine after midnight. I am afraid it will not wear off by morning.