I sincerely try to follow through with commitments, especially if it is work related. I have a strong work ethic, which is not motivated by monetary payment alone. In fact, my pride in doing a good job, my sense that doing the very best in no matter what I do surpasses my need for monetary compensation in many circumstances.
I made a commitment, and I was not sure how I was going to make good on the task. But, I found myself making lots of plans, and prioritizing one small step of the task after another. I was excited, and my focus on this commitment really blocked out other things I normally do and sometimes struggle with. I just decided I needed to work on that commitment, and did so, without regard for what else I would prefer to be doing.
That made me realize that when I make an external commitment, I do my very best to honor it. What I learned is that I do not force myself to keep commitments to myself. So, why do I treat other people better than myself?
It is my pride. It is my desire to earn acceptance and approval. It is my desire not to embarrass myself in their eyes. Yet, often, when I do not keep my commitments to myself, the results can also embarrass myself in the eyes of others, because of my behavior.
I have learned that I fail myself while I work very hard not to fail others. I deserve to treat myself better, and act as if I am the most important person to me, rather than act as if those around me are the most important people in my life.
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