Being Connected

I live alone. Since I have lived in Texas, almost 37 years, I have lived alone more than I have lived with someone.  When I was in a relationship, and it was going well, I did not mind living with someone.  But I really like living alone.  My schedule is set by work, but outside of work, my schedule is set by me.

When I had a dog, we walked regularly. Sometimes in the morning before I went to work. Always in the evening when I returned from work.  I built my social life around walking the dog. And, we walked Saturdays and Sundays, usually in the morning, sometimes a second time in the evening. 

I have cats now, and I feed them twice a day: in the morning before I start the rest of my day, and in the evening.  I try very hard to plan my social life so I have time to feed the cats before it is too late in the evening. They may not be hungry, but I want the food to be there for them.

Other than that, I set my schedule for me.  I eat when I want and what I want. I read, watch TV, am on the computer, do yard work or house work all on my own schedule. I attend activities based on what I want to do. 

I have said for years that I attend activities for two reasons: 1) Because it is something I want to do or 2) to be social.  I tend to attend activities because it is something I want to do more than to be social. If it is an activity that I really want to attend, I do not want to be distracted by someone who wants to visit or socialize during the activity.

I may invite others to attend the activity with me.  But I will attend the activity whether or not someone joins me.

Earlier tonight, after I listened to the Lady Raider Basketball game, I was feeling I needed to connect with someone.  But not strongly. 

There are people I can call or reach out to if I feel the need to connect. But I did not feel that need tonight.

I have never been comfortable connecting by phone. I do not know why but I do not.  I think that there are a lot of people who also feel that way, which is why texting is so popular:  You can connect, but at your own time and space.  It is not immediate.  You control the timing.

Anyway, my sense of needing to be connected dissipated.