Inter Library Loan

I have used the Inter Library Loan system from time to time over the years.  Until recently, it was free. This amazed me.  But most recently, the Inter Library Loan system involved a fee of $2.75 http://library.ci.lubbock.tx.us/ill/allill.aspx.

The idea of the Inter Library Loan system is wonderful:  If your library does not have the book you want, maybe another library does. And you can order the book, have a chance to read the book, and return it in a specific time. When I first started using this system, it was free.  As I have said, I was amazed that it was free.  But now there is a charge of $2.75. That is still a bargain.  

I think the Inter Library Loan program is a real deal.

Television Viewing And Computer Access

The other day at work, some coworkers and I were discussing television viewing. I commented that I have cable, but have not upgraded to HD or a DVR, or premium services, that the basic service provides what I need.  Additionally, I can only watch one show at a time, so, unless there is nothing on, a DVR is of no value to me.  And, if there is nothing on TV, I can read, or do other projects, including writing and doing things on the computer.

I commented that I like cable because I like sports and The Weather Channel http://www.weather.com/ . We talked about viewing options. One of my coworkers commented that he just watched the local channels.  He has a converter box that allows for that.  I have one, that I purchased to attach to the little 18" black and white TV that I purchased in 1978.  The TV used to work, but I have never connected the converter box.  Maybe, someday, I will. The TV is on the nightstand in my bedroom, and I keep wondering about the logistics of balancing the box on the TV or nightstand. The last time I used that TV was several years ago, when we were under a tornado watch. I had the TV on while I sat in the closet, with Sake and Haiku in cat crates on either side of me.  The tornado missed us (but since then, when the weather has frightened the cats, one or both has used the crates.)

The conversation at work then turned to renting DVDs.  I commented that the library has DVDs, and VHS tapes to check out for free.  Neither coworker was aware of that.  Neither coworker had a library card.

I have had a library card since I moved to Lubbock in 1977.  That just blew me away that they did not have a library card. 

I am not sure when I got my first library card, but I know I checked out library books when I was in the second grade. http://www.montaguepubliclibraries.org/ The library in Millers Falls was at a different location when I was growing up, and only open on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays, but was an important feature of my life.  

After I graduated from high school, I went off to college, but moved back home when that did not work out.  I kept my local library card, but also was able to get a library card for the library at the county seat, Greenfield, Ma http://www.greenfieldpubliclibrary.org/. 

Then, I went to The College of Our Lady of the Elms (COLE) http://www.elms.edu/.  At that time, COLE belonged to a consortium that allowed us to use five other libraries.  My memory is faulty, but for sure, that included : Springfield College http://www.spfldcol.edu/, and American International College http://www.aic.edu/.  I used those two libraries while I was a student at COLE.

Since I have lived in Lubbock, I have had cable at times, and other times, have not had cable. I think it is an extravagance, but one I am willing to pay for.  Part of the reason for that is because of the TV channels I want to access. The other reason is for the computer Internet access.

I could try to use DSL computer Internet access at my house.  But I am not sold on DSL.  I understand that it is slower than cable.  But the other reason I am not sold on DSL is due to the condition of my telephone lines.

My house was built in 1956.  When I moved in, I was told it was wired for two telephone lines, if need be. I had no need.  But, when I had a land line telephone line, and when it had rained or snowed, there was interference on my phone line.  I could hear noise (indistinct voices) on the line.  When I contacted the telephone company about this they claimed it was due to the internal wiring of my house, and would be my expense to correct, instead of their problem.  I doubted them. I mean, why would the wiring inside my house allow me to hear my neighbors on line, when it was wet outside.  

So, this is another reason for me not to use DSL. Think about it, if the DSL company is using those lines I had problems with in the past, I would continue to have problems with access. 

So, I have cable access for the Internet.   I have cable access for television channels, based on my cable plan.

New Years Resolutions

It is New Years Eve.  Some years, I make a New Year's resolution. Some years I do not.  If I make a New Year's resolution, it is something that is usually creative and for my self improvement.   But, even as I make a New Year's resolution, I do not think I will keep the resolution. That is the really wrong attitude to enter into a resolution.  If you are going to bother to make a resolution, it should be something that you really intend to work on.  Since I am not sure I will work on something, it is not worth my effort to make a resolution. 

None this year!

How Important is Football in Lubbock, Texas?

Texas Tech http://www.ttu.edu/ is playing Minnesota http://www.gophersports.com/ in the Meineke Car Care Bowl http://meinekecarcarebowloftexas.com/ tonight in Houston, Texas.  The game will be aired by ESPN http://espn.go.com/.  After Coach Mike Leach http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Leach_(coach) lead the football team to 9 bowls in 10 seasons http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_Tech_Red_Raiders_football#Post-season_bowl_games, Coach Tommy Tuberville http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tommy_Tuberville had two disappointing seasons at Texas Tech, before the team qualified this year for a bowl game.  However, he ditched the team before the bowl game, going to Cincinnati http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012/writers/stewart_mandel/12/08/tommy-tuberville-cincinnati-texas-tech/index.html. 

Kliff Kingsbury, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kliff_Kingsbury, former Texas Tech quarterback was celebrated upon his return to Lubbock as the new head coach for Texas Tech. But he will not coach the 2012 bowl game.  Interim Coach Chris Thomsen http://www.texastech.com/sports/m-footbl/mtt/thomsen_chris00.html will.

The Texas Tech Red Raider basketball game against North Carolina A&T http://www.ncat.edu/ started at 6 PM, and ran a little long, but the Red Raiders won. Because the game being aired before the Meineke Car Care Bowl ran into overtime, when I switched late to ESPN, there were a few seconds of the game being aired.  But it switched immediately over to the Tech game, and we were delighted by a kick off return touchdown!

So, how important is the football bowl game?  The Lubbock Avalanche Journal http://lubbockonline.com/ has headlined and highlighted information about the game for days.  In the December 28, 2012 edition, just under the banner, a small item was printed, indicating that the December 29, 2012 edition might be late, as the edition will be held to accommodate covering the entire bowl game.

I do not recall the newspaper ever being held to accomodate a political election.   Hmmm. Where are our priorities in Lubbock, Texas?

Safety Features

I have had a space heater, and decided that I needed two for the house.  The one I had has a feature that if it is tipped over, it will after a while, shut off.  The new space heater I purchased today also has the same feature. But it is very sensitive.  If it is at all moved from an upright position, it stops. So even adjusting it in the room stops it, sometimes, because the unit is tilted.

That is an excellent safety feature. I much rather have that inconvenience than the inconvenience of a house fire.

Ooooh, It's Cold

It snowed overnight Christmas Eve.  I had not been paying close attention to the weather, but a newspaper story confirmed the thought that I had that the weather predictions were for the snow to stay further north.  But, a white Christmas was nice.

But with the snow came freezing temperatures. Actually, on Christmas day, the temperatures were above freezing, and we had some melting of the snow.

The morning of December 26th was again below freezing, and cold. Again, it was suppose to be above freezing during the day. I know it was: the snow melted, and when I got home about 5:55 PM, it was 35°.  But it felt COLD.

When I got home, the girls were not happy.  Of course not.  I was late.  I set about feeding and taking care of chores.  While I was doing that, Sake decided she wanted to go out into the garage. She stepped into the garage, and stopped. As if to say "Oh, it's cold!" But she went into the garage anyway.  Less than 5 minutes later, I checked on her. She was at the door, ready to go back into the house.

It was cold. But, Sake could not be deterred, if only briefly.  She is a stubborn little cuss.

Garage Privileges

I do not know why, but the cats like to go out into the garage.  Sake has garage privileges, because she either comes into the house when I want her to, or I can direct her to come into the house when I want her to. It was not always so, but over time, that has evolved. Because of this, she is allowed garage privileges even when I am getting ready to leave the house in the Vue.

Haiku likes the garage.  I think she likes to sit on the hood of the Vue when it is warm.  She seems to like the higher shelves when they would be warm because heat rises.  However, in the past, she did not come down when I asked her to.  Until I discovered that if I shook dry food in pouches, she would come into the house. Even so, if I am expecting I have to go out, I do not let her go into the garage, because I am not sure she will respond as I want her to respond.

Taki has wanted into the garage for months. Early on, I allowed her to go into the garage. She got on one of the top shelves, jumped inappropriately, and fell to the floor. I saw this, and was unable to help her. She seemed to be okay, but I was scared for her safety, and for the longest time, did now allow her into the garage.

She has, on occasion, escaped into the garage.  Most recently that has happened more frequently. In the past, when Taki made it into the garage, I had a hard time getting her back into the house. Most recently, when she goes into the garage, she comes back into the house as I ask. There was a time when she did not come into the house as I asked, so the next time she tried to get into the garage, I did not allow it. Then, the next time I did allow her into the garage, and she came back into the house quite quickly, I gave her the privilege again. 

Take seems to be reacting to this. If I allow her into the garage, when I want her to go back into the house, she does.

So, for now, Taki has garage privileges.

The Haircut

About 20 years ago, a friend of mine introduced me to a hairdresser whom I really, really liked and came to care for as a person.  For years, I just wanted a blunt cut, as my hair was very straight.  Some time after 2007, my hair started waving.  With the hairdresser, I chose a different style, that complimented the waving. But over the years, the hairdresser, due to health issues, has had to shorten her hours and access to her, for me, had become increasingly difficult. As a result, I started using the local Pro-Cuts http://www.pro-cuts.com/special/.

I just take who ever is available. Sometimes the hair cut is very, very good. Sometimes it is not so good. The last several months, the haircut has been so bad, I have taken to hacking at my hair myself. The first two times I did that, I actually lucked out and my hair looked very good. The last time couple of times I did that, I did purely a hack job.  Awful.

I got a hair cut today.  The front of my hair was not too long, but the back sides and back was too long.  I had been hacking at the front but was unable to do much with the back.  The hairdresser who cut my hair today was very concerned about not only the hacking I had done, but even the hacking the prior hairdresser had done. She wanted to correct these hackings.  She cut my hair shorter than we had discussed but did it in a successful attempt to correct the hackings. 

While my hair is being cut, I have to remove my glasses. I do not see well without them. But as Jessica was cutting my hair, I could tell that she was doing a really professional job.  I have not bothered to ask for a particular hairdresser before but Jessica tells me she works on Saturdays, and if she is there the next time I need a haircut, I will ask for her.

Resting

I spent the better part of the last two days doing some serious housework.  Yesterday was not too strenuous, but long.  I had some good rests, but did not get as much done as I had hoped.  I worked hard today, but decided I needed to take a midday break and run some errands. I was determined to finish everything I had in mind, but it required some determination at the end.  I was hurting really, really badly by the end of the list of chores that I wanted to do.  I still have a few chores to complete, but I was determined to rest for a while. I stumbled upon the airing of The Sound of Music http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059742/  http://www.sound-of-music.com/
so that is providing me the opportunity to rest.

Earlier today, when I sat down to rest Haiku climbed onto my lap.  I had planned to rest for just a few minutes, but the rest extended into an hour.  It was a blessing. When I re-started my chores, I was not hurting at all. I know if I had rested just a few minutes, I would have been hurting when I started back to work. 

This is a good lesson to for me to learn.  I tend to push myself.  But if extra rest will help, it is worth it.  I need to plan for the extra rest in my self-determined schedule.

Watching Favorite Movies

I have to admit that I re-watch a lot of movies.  Favorites Classics.  Movies for which I know the script and action.  Part of the reason I do this is because I love these movies. And let's admit it, if I am re-watching a movie and am still interested, excited, moved, intrigued by it even though I know what will happen next, it must be a good story.  Or, at least, a story that moves me. But, I also like to watch familiar movies when I am working on a project.  The movie keeps me company while I am doing something.  But, since it is a familiar story, I do not have to concentrate on the movie, and can work on my project, whatever the project is.

Do I Look Like a Shopping Consultant

I cannot think of anyone who looks less like a shopping consultant than I do.  I just go to store in relaxed work around the house clothes.

A few weeks ago, I was purchasing a bag of powdered laundry detergent.  It has a cute white seal pup on the front.  Another shopper commented on the picture as cute.  I just yeah, I buy this brand because it's inexpensive. I'm allergic to Tide and Gain, and my clothes do not get really dirty, and I can even use cold water.

The women said she might have to try it next time she needed laundry soap.

The last time I was grocery shopping, I was on the cleaning products aisle.  A young man stopped and asked for some help.  He was buying cleaning products to help a friend, who needed to clean a rent house.  Evidently is was very, very dirty, and they needed some heavy duty dirt and grease cleaner.  He asked me what I would use.  I told him Simple Green http://www.simplegreen.com/, but I would not buy it in the small squirt bottle at that store. I would go to Home Depot http://www.homedepot.com/  and buy a large bottle, if I were doing a whole house or a really big job.  The young man said he had not think about getting stuff a Home Depot. (The advantage of buying cleaning products at Home Depot is you can buy in bulk.)  He seemed really pleased with my answer.

Hmmm. Is this a new career?

Settling In

I left work 30 minutes early, in part to run an errand.  And, in part because the Lady Raiders where playing basketball, the game starting at 4:30 PM Lubbock time. So, as I drove around, I listened to the game on the radio.  Then, finished listening to the game when I got home.  The game ended a little after 6:30 PM.  But it felt much later, because, of course, I am used to 7 PM start times.

So, now, although it is just shortly after 8 PM, it feels much later, and I am very, very tired.  Haiku had some trouble settling in tonight.  A snack, and turning the space heater on in the computer room helped.

I think I am going to curl up on the sofa.  I have a couple of movies to watch, and need to just settle in, too.

Dust Storm Lubbock

Monday, December 17, 2012, we had a dust storm in Lubbock. It was bad, but manageable.  Tuesday was clear.  But we knew that we were in for another dust storm on Wednesday, December 19, 2012. 

Well, it has been a doozie of a dust storm http://lubbockonline.com/ and http://www.kcbd.com/. It blew in about 1:30 PM, as predicted.  At times this afternoon, visibility was nil.  The airport had flight delays. It rained mud balls.

Interestingly, Tommy Tuberville, ex Texas Tech football coach, who hated the wind was supposedly stranded at the airport due to the wind http://www.dallasnews.com/sports/college-sports/texas-tech-red-raiders/20121219-did-west-texas-weather-leave-tommy-tuberville-stranded-at-lubbock-airport.ece.

There was a serious accident north of Lubbock, with one fatality, and the use of an on sight triage system by the EMS  http://everythinglubbock.com/fulltext?nxd_id=142632.  It was a multi-vehicle accident, including involving at least one semi.

Route 84 between Lubbock and Post, southeast of Lubbock, was closed for a time this afternoon.

We were advised to not use the Loop or Interstate to drive home.

I believe my office has some compromised seals, because I have reactions to the wind and dust there, where I do not have such reactions in other parts of the building.  My house seems to be fairly well sealed, but we do get a fine film, especially with the comings and goings.

This is frightening, but understandable;  the fields are bare.  There has been no appreciable moisture. Even if  there had been moisture, the strength of the wind dries the bare earth so quickly that it is inevitable that the dust blows.

Are we in for another dust bowl?  Who knows.  But I will tell you.  I have lived in Lubbock for 35 years. I have seen dust storms worse than this. Usually, they are in the early spring. But, what happens, happens.

Newtown Acts of Kindness

I do not know why the tragedy at Newtown, Ct. on December 14, 2012 impacted me so much. But it has.  Today, I heard about the movement to do acts of kindness in honor and memory of the deceased and their survivors in Newtown http://abcnews.go.com/US/video/newtown-overwhelmed-acts-kindness-18007621.  There are multiple "acts of kindness" movements, including on Twitter, and some that are international in scope.

This is a horrible tragedy.  But if it moves people to do acts of kindness, then it shows the power of faith, humanity and the value of goodwill to all mankind.

So, I am challenged to do an act or acts of kindness.  I donate to certain charities, and I could add an additional gift.

But, I want to do something different, something more interactive, something that reaches out to someone.

Perhaps, in the next few days, I will find or make an opportunity to do an act of kindness.

My Most Important Credit Card

I am probably like many of you and have more than one credit card.  I have one that I use the most, and reap the rewards from usage.  I have one that I use when my primary card is not accepted.

I was at the library Saturday morning, fishing for my library card, and I realized that that is my most important "credit card."  Think about it. A library card opens the world to us. It gives us the opportunity to travel in time and space. To meet new people, and revisit old friends.  It gives us the chance to learn all sorts of things. It offers westerns, war stories, romances, mysteries, science fiction, and fantasy, to name a few genre.  The Lubbock libraries used to have art work to check out (I do not know if they still do or not.) The Lubbock library has computers for public use and wi-fi is available for your own device. You can get ebooks from the library. You can get sound recordings, books on tape or CD.  You can get videos and DVDs. If the Lubbock library system does not have a book, it can generally be found through the inter-library loan system. Until just recently, this was a free service.  But, at $2.75, it is a bargain.

Do you have a credit card that provides you as much as my library card provides me?

Saturday, I was looking for a specific book, and could not find it at the Godeke Branch of the library.  Tonight, I went to the Mahon branch, and immediately found the book for which I was looking. When I tried to check out, I could not find my library card.  That was very disconcerting to me.  It was like losing a real credit card.  The librarian said they could check out the book using my driver's license.  She was training someone, so while they were doing that, I continued to look, and sure enough, the library card was misplaced in my wallet. That was a relief.

But, the librarian also said that if I could not find my library card, they could cancel it and re-issue a new account.  Just what a credit card company would do, if I lost my credit card (with a new account number, same as the library.)

Yes, indeed.  My library card is my most important credit card.



 

Night Noises

I grew up in a small town, with a river just a few yards from my house, and two manufacturing plants, one less than a quarter mile away, one less than a mile away.  The manufacturing plant closest to my house was the Millers Falls Company http://oldtoolheaven.com/, and they made electric and hand tools.

In the evening, when things were still, you could hear the river and the noise from the tool company.  It was a sound to which I fell asleep for years.  It is a sound I find reassuring and comforting.

I do not live far from the Loop in Lubbock, and can hear the intermittent traffic noises. Tonight, with rush of the wind,  the noise was constant, and sounded much like the hum that I was used to as a child.

I really do like the comfort of that noise.

A Winter Sky

It was not supposed to freeze overnight.  I do not know if it did nor not, but I do not think it did.  I awoke at 7 AM and it was still dark, so I rolled over and slept longer.   It never got really bright today.  The high temperature was 56° according to The Weather Channel http://www.weather.com/. 

The sky is a winter sky.  It is grey with high thin clouds and no bright sun. For Texas it is cold, but not that cold.  But it is grey. This is a fireplace day.  But, of course, I do not have a fireplace. 

But it is a winter sky.

Ping Pong Balls

Some time ago, I purchased a package of ping pong balls for the cats.  Taki especially is fond of them . She loves to play with them .  But they disappear.  They end up under the furniture: under the washing machine, under the refrigerator, under the dresser. They end up behind the cabinet in the kitchen. They end up under the sofa.

Taki lets me know when she has lost a ball.  She sits and and stares under the piece of furniture involved.   The yard stick is helpful with retrieving the ping pong balls.

When I clean house, I try to search under the furniture to look for ping pong balls.  Sometimes I am successful, sometimes not.

But, Taki sure does like to play with ping pong balls.

Prayers to Newtown, Connecticut

On 12/14/12 there was a mass shooting in an elementary school in Newtown, Ct. http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/14/us/connecticut-school-shooting/index.html

I heard this at work, about mid-day.  I checked on the town.  My brother lives in Connecticut, and works for a power company, so I could not imagine him having any reason to be in an elementary school.  The shooting occured in Newtown, not in North Haven, where he lives, nor New Haven, where he works. 

I called him after work.  He did not know of any immediate connection between coworkers and the families in Newtown, but we agreed that surely they will know or know of people who were affected. 

I am very saddened by this tragedy. I have been more emotionally moved by this than by some of the other mass shootings that have occured. Maybe because I have ties to Connecticut, and maybe because it was mostly children who were the victims.

This has had national and international implications.  President Obama http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2012/12/14/transcript-obamas-statement-on-newtown-shooting/ made a statement.  The Pope Benedict XVI sent a letter to the Roman Catholic Church, St. Rose of Lima hthttp://home.nra.org/#/nraorgtp://www.strosechurch.com/ where a vigil was held that night.  Even the sports communities were affected http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/8748654/sports-world-shaken-connecticut-school-shooting-newtown.   One commentator I heard said that he was calling on the National Rifle Association http://home.nra.org/#/nraorg to not just advocate for the right for gun ownership but for gun safety. That is something with which I wholeheartedly agree.

We are a brave, innovative, and powerful nation. Surely, we are smart enough to figure out how to reduce these kinds of mass shootings.

One of the commentators on TV talked about the need to improve our mental health care system. The thought being that folks who perpetrate these kinds of crimes do need mental health care.

That may be true.  But I have to wonder if they would be identified as needing mental health care prior to committing crimes.  I am not sure that these perpetrators were identifed as needing mental health care, and then for some reason, they did not or chose not to receive it. 

I agree that our nation does not support public mental health care at the level that meets the needs of the public.  I see this in my work: many people end up in prison in the State of Texas because they are not receiving mental health care, are off their medicaitons, and commit serious crimes that might could have been prevented.  Some of the lack of mental health care is "volitional."  People do not want mental health care.  But there is no follow up with them to help determine if they are safe to be without mental health care.

But, there are many people out there who are not even receiving mental health care who need to be receiving it.  Maybe because they do not want it. Maybe because they cannot afford it. Maybe because accessing publicly supported mental health care is so cumbersome, difficult and not time responsive.

But maybe, most people do not not receive mental health care because there is still a very negative stigma regarding mental illness.  No one wants to be identified as mentally ill. The implications are so humiliating to people that they deny the need for mental health treatment. And the general public re-enforces this by the way we treat people with mental illness.

Therefore, when people need help, they do not receive it.  Instead, they act out and get themselves involved in a system of court committed care or incarceration that does not have their mental health treatment in the forefront, but has their stabilization and ability to participate in the legal due processing of their behavoir in the judicial system. This then perpetuates the lack of treatment and ongoing punishment and stigmatization of mental illness, because the patient then goes to court, and if is convicted, goes to prison. And hopefully receives mental health treatment, as minimal as it is in prison.

To wrap this around.  We do not know if  the perperator of this crime had a mental health problem.  We may learn there were some circumstances in his life that influenced his thinking and abherant behavior. We may learn he was floridly ill. We may learn there were no indicators regarding his behavior.

Whatever we learn, we must keep our prayers focused on the family, friends, school members and souls of those involved in the mass shooting.

My Skin

This time of year, my skin becomes very dry.  My skin becomes scaly. It cracks, and even bleeds.

This has been true for years. At least since the early 1980s.  I have learned to use high quality lotions or creams that are not greasy and have curative powers. I have also learned that a layer of lotion or cream helps to make my skin feel warm on really cold days.

I do not think I am unusual or unique in this part of the world.  The lack of moisture in the atmosphere in this part of the world is known for sucking the moisture out of human skin, hair and what have you.

Just part of living in the desert.

Busy

The last few weeks have been busy for me.  I had a quiet Thanksgiving weekend. But then, stuff started.  There was preparation for a reunion party, and then the party. A basketball game. Preparation for an NASW meeting.  Computer problems. Another basketball game.  A Christmas party. Another goodbye party. Two more Christmas parties.

This is a busy time of year.  I do appreciate all the interchange.  But I am a quiet person. I like to do quiet things.  I have self expectations of completing quiet, solo projects: knitting, reading, computer activities, home projects.

I am an introvert. I learned years ago that I am not energized by interactive activities, and I need quiet time to recharge. This time of year, I realize just how much quiet I need to recharge.  And, as I get older, the interchange at work between clients, coworkers and auxiliary people wears me down more and more, so the recharge at night is not as complete as it once was.

I do not try to be busy for busy's sake.  I choose my activities for two reasons:  It is an activity I will enjoy.  I want to have the social interchange.  This time of year, I am choosing activities for the social interchange, and that wears me out.  

I can deal with this. But I know that it drains me. 

My Little Trash Digger

Taki has taken to digging through the trash in my "office."  I have a basket "trash can" and put a plastic bag in it.  The past few weeks, Taki has discovered this, and regularly digs through the trash, empties it, or just plays with it.

I know that cats like crinkly sounds, and that explains some or all of her fascination with this trash can.   But throughout my house, I have baskets lined with plastic bags for trash. She does not bother those. 

I am not sure what this is about.  But, I can deal with it.

The Value of Human Kind

I have patients who tell me that they feel that they have no value or worth as a human being, that they would be better off dead, and that the people in their world would be better off if they were dead.  They may or may not be suicidal, but may still have the passive suicidal thought that they would be better off dead.

I have a hard time convincing them that they have value because they are human beings, and that is their worth and value in life. Just because they are alive, they have value.

Many of them have difficulty with that concept.

I believe that one of the best arguements for their worth and value is a passage from John Donne:

No Man Is An Island

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

 

John Donne

This is a difficult concept to teach: that we are all affected by other human beings, and we are all affected if a human being dies.  That we lose a piece of ourselves, if someone else with whom we have a relationship, dies.  Especially for people who have never or rarely considered the feelings of other people.

What is This?

Sake joined me on the table for dinner.  She was lurking because she wanted some of the pork ribs I bought.  I really need to buy a small piece of pork and cook it for her. She does not want ham, she wants pork.

Well, as I was eating a salad, she started biting my knuckle.  The, she grabbed my hand in her two front paws, and scrubbed at my hand with her hind paws.  She does this sometimes with a stuffed toy.  I was able to pull my fist into the sleeve of my shirt, but she did not have her hind paws out, so there was tiny rubbing from the nubs of her claws, but no scratching.  I was not sure what that was all about.  After a few minutes, she was done.

That was weird.

PBS

I am a supporter of PBS http://www.pbs.org/ and have been for a very long time.  The quality of programing has always improved when they were doing their fundraising shows.  But recently, the local PBS station KTTZ http://www.kttz.org/ seems to have improved the quality of the programming even when it is not a time of fundraising. I appreciate this very much.  I believe we should receive quality programming throughout the broadcast year.  I understand that is a matter of financial availability, so I hope it means that KTTZ is being well supported by the viewers of the South Plains.

It Turned Cold

We have had abnormally warm weather for this time of year. But, we knew that could not last. It has turned cold and it will be below freezing tonight, for sure.

It is winter, and in addition to the cold air, the wind is cold and makes the wind chill factor more potent.

So, it has turned cold. I was out running errands today, and there is a high ceiling with grey wispy clouds, which also makes it look colder.

But is only in the 40s.  Which means my house is not as warm as it could be.  It is a phenomenon I believe I have written about before.  This house is warm, without adjusting the thermostat, when the temperature gets really, really cold.  But when the temperatures are middling cold like they are today, this house does not feel as warm.

I have throws that I use to help me to stay warm. I have a space heater I use in the bathroom, and sometimes move to the office.  I could bump up the thermostat if I need to, because there is no reason for me to be cold. 

But, it is moving to the winter season, and the colder temperatures are what is to be expected.

Mariachi Christmas

One of my coworkers, a correctional officer, is in a mariachi band: Mariaichi Mi Tierra.  This is evidently a popular title for mariachi bands, because if you google it, you will find several.  This one is based in Lubbock, Texas.

I made a point to go to listen to them play at a local Mexican food restaurant, once.  I would have gone back more often, but they stopped playing there after a while. (That is a lot to do regularly after you finish your day job.  And mariachi music requires LOTS of energy.)

A few weeks ago, the coworker told me he wanted to give me a CD of their Christmas music.  Working in a prison, it is difficult to bring things into the prison, sometimes.  Depending upon who is guarding the gate, a CD might be allowed in, might not.  So the coworker said he would get the CD to me, someday.

Today was our unit wide Christmas party. I went for dinner and stayed a while, visiting and listening to the karaoke.  One of our coworkers sang with the polish of someone who has performed on stage before.  The kids did great with Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer.  As I was leaving, a coworker called my name. It was mariachi band member.  He had a CD in his truck for me.

That was perfect. I had been listening to Christmas music, specificially James Taylor, a CD of Christmas music from my best friend, before I went to the party.  I had started on writing out Christmas cards, and my plan was to finish tonight.

So, I listened to Mariachi Me Tierra and loved it.  The strident brass of a mariachi band is a perfect fit for Christmas songs.  In fact, Christmas songs are often played with a lot of brass.

What a thoughtful gift. 

Merry Mariachi Christmas!

It's Messy in Here!

Sake is a fastidious and prissy cat.  When Haiku arrived, and sometimes missed the litter box, catching the edge, this was very upsetting to Sake.  I remember one time when Haiku was using the litter box in the large bathroom, and Sake sat there and hissed at her.  Whatever she said, it was not pretty.  After that, Haiku got a better about using the litter box neatly.

Since Taki joined us, there have been more accidents and misses.  Also Haiku and Taki scratch up the newspaper I put under the litter box, sometimes tearing it and using it for cover in the litter box.

I clean the boxes and the areas around them at least once a week. If the papers get too messy, I do it more often.  This was a busy week, and the papers in the large bathroom got pretty messy, but I did not change them.  Saturday is cleaning day. I got a late start to my morning, and had many more than usual errands to run, so did not start cleaning until about 1:30 PM. 

A few minutes before I was ready to start cleaning, I was checking something on the computer, having just finished lunch.  I could hear Sake crying her most plaintive cry "I need something." She does that from time to time.  She even hid once when she was hurt and cried but I could never find her. Well, I found her today.  She was standing on the edge of the bath tub, crying, looking at the mess and looking at me.  I told her I was going to start cleaning shortly, and she was immediately consoled.  Hmmm. Did she understand what I said?  I doubt it, I am sure it is the tone.

So, I did clean, and did some extra freshening of the litter boxes. Maybe that will help the girls do better.

I Get the Message

When Taki was a baby, but old enough to move around on her own, I tried to feed her regularly. Sometimes, though, she would get hungry in between, and she would bother me incessantly: scratching, climbing, picking at me.  I did not let that last long before I would feed her.  As she has matured, she has not exhibited that behavior as often, but occasionally does. Tonight, she was picking at me something fierce.  For some reason, she was hungry and wanted a treat and not good, nutritious food. 

Well, I could not deny her. She got junk food tonight. And was very happy for it.

Taki is Watching TV

I was watching the Boston Celtics against the Philadelphia 76ers basketball game on TV tonight. It was a pretty good game, even if the Celtics lost by one point.

Part way through the game, I noticed that Taki was lying on the TV tray next to me, watching the game.  I have never noticed her watching TV before.  She spent 10 or 15 minutes watching the game, and then decided she was no longer interested. 

Holiness is Availabilty

I went to a funeral mass today. The priest who preached the sermon talked about holiness is availability.  This is so true. If we are present for our brothers and sisters in Christ, we are their for them. To rejoice with them, to support them, to comfort them, to help them in their time of need.

I have learned that over and over again in my role as social worker. So often there is nothing I can do for a client. But I listen and am there for them.  That lesson was most solidly driven home to me when I worked at the county hospital in the pediatrics department. I heard parents, even if I could not help them.  Especially when their children were dying. But I was there. And, it is a lesson that is also repeated at the psychiatric prison where I work.  The patients just want to be heard, and respected.  That means so much to them.

And to the rest of us. We want to be heard. We want to be respected.  Years ago, I learned about passive, aggressive and assertive communication.  

Passive communication involves the receiver not having needs met.  This leads to the receiver eventually becoming frustrated and acting out inappropriately. It also results in the sender not only abusing the receiving but developing disrespect for the receiver who will not stand up for themselves.

Aggressive communication involves the sender not respecting the receiver. It does not have to be angry or belligerent communication, just disrespectful.

Assertive communication involves respecting the needs of both the sender and the receiver. It does not ensure that one or both will get what they want. But they will come out of the communication with a sense of respect that they were listened to.

That is part of the availability that the speaker talked about. Being present to another human being is such a gift.

Turkey or Ham?

Sake has become less interested in eating liver than she was a few months ago, when I started buying it again.  This was obvious before Thanksgiving, and the point was driven home the day she wanted Cornish game hen for breakfast, instead of liver. (See Spoiled published 11/25/12)  Last weekend, I bought deli sliced ham and turkey.  I have offered her the opportunity to choose which she prefers:  I hold both packages, and she sits near or nudges the meat she prefers. She frequently chooses ham. Sometimes, she eats all of it, sometimes, just part.

Taki has gotten into the act. She prefers turkey.  I have to think that when she first started eating canned food, I gave her Fancy Feast Kitten Food http://www.fancyfeast.com/kitten-food/tender-turkey/, which was turkey and dairy based.  I tried the Iams Kitten Food http://www.iams.com/cat-food/buy-now?online=CAN. recommended by the veterinarian, but she was not at all interested in that. 

Which do you prefer, turkey or ham?

Keeping Up

I am a methodical, habitual person.  People tell me I am organized. I think I am inflexible and a creature of habit.  Yet, in my line of work, I have to be, and am flexible all the time.  But, my comfort zone is a planned and scheduled day in which I can guesstimate a time table and accomplish the tasks I had planned to do that day.

Part of my routine is to take care of personal business in the evening.  This might be household chores, errands, a planned reading night or other tasks.  I plan my social events so I can still keep up with other things.

The past week and this week has been filled with unplanned social events.  So, I find myself trying to squeeze in moments to "keep up" with what I would have been doing.  Trying to keep up with my idea of what my schedule should be can be draining. But it is something I have always done.  That does not make it right.

And, for some reason, I have been inordinately tired the last few weeks, so working, reading or knitting later into the night has become more difficult.

Imagine my surprise, some 20 plus years into my working career, when I realized why weekday holidays made me so tired. Dummy!  I tried to get 40 hours of work done in 32 hours.  When I realized that, I adjusted and made my short weeks more manageable.  But it took me years to get there. What is wrong with my thinking that I could not figure that out!  I am a bright person. But my goal orientedness creates such a tunnel vision in me that that did not dawn on me for years and years!  Dah!

This is always a busy time of year, with holiday activities.  But I am not even dealing with those yet!  It is just other life stuff that is infringing on my activity calendar.

Well, all will get done. Deadlines can be broken or changed. Life goes on.

Thankfulness

We have entered into the season of Thankfulness, followed by the season of Peace on Earth, Good Will to men. I get this confused. Did I get it right, or is it Peace on Earth to Men of Good Will?

I like the former. It is more generous. I went looking for the correct version, and I found this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8OYvHPpGDY It is wonderful.  It is from 1939.  I do not think we have learned much since then, do you?

Trash

Many of my "trash cans" are baskets that I line with plastic bags.  Taki has taken to eviscerating the trash cans, dumping out the contents, taking out the plastic bags, and sometimes turning them inside out.

I know that cats like things that crinkle.  Is that it? Or is it something else?

Who knows.

Pledging, Part II

I have already written about pledging for NPR and PBS.  My donor gift came today (not the 6-8 weeks projected at the time of my pledge.)  And, it is as advertised.  I could not find much on TV, so guess what, I am listening to my donor gift.

I was thinking about the volunteers who work the pledge phones. The person I spoke to took all of my information, and then plodded on to ask if I would pay for the shipping for the pledge gift.  At this point, her voice sounded tired and apologetic:  We are asking for your money at a pledge level, then even asking for more.

I thanked the volunteer for her efforts at the completion of my pledge transaction.  She seemed a little speechless. I wonder how many thank yous those volunteers get.

Well, do not forget to support NPR and PBS.

Playing the Enemy

I am reading the book Playing the Enemy: Nelson Mandela and the Game That Made a Nation by John Carlin.  This is the book that the movie Invictus http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1057500/ was based on.  And, "Invictus" the poem http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/invictus/ is one of my favorites.

The book has been a little dry to read, and the author's writing style is a little difficult. But it is an important story. I was delighted at the movie.

We are so insular in the United States. We do not really always know what is happening in other parts of the world. We should pay more attention to the international scene. 

Nativities in Lubbock

The Temple of the Latter Day Saints in Lubbock hosted a Nativity Scenes http://lubbocknativity.com/ display.  It was really very beautiful and artistically set display of multiple nativity scenes.  There were very few duplicates. There were stories about the displays.  There were scenes from around the world and other cultures. 

They had ongoing music, and while I was there,  men's chorus was singing.

The hosts and hostesses were graciousnes themselves. 

This was a wonderful gift to the community.  I did not promote it as I had no idea what I was going to, but I was invited back for next year.  I will certainly promote it.

Something Happened

Something happened at work one day that required a reporting through the chain of command. The offender who reported the incident later recanted, and recanted in my presence. But we did follow procedure and reported his claim as initially stated.  As it was being investigated, the ranking staff acknowledged that I had filed the proper memos per policy. The ranking officer acknowledged that I did exactly as the policy required. Later my supervisor said the same thing.

I did what I was supposed ot do.