I went to a funeral mass today. The priest who preached the sermon talked about holiness is availability. This is so true. If we are present for our brothers and sisters in Christ, we are their for them. To rejoice with them, to support them, to comfort them, to help them in their time of need.
I have learned that over and over again in my role as social worker. So often there is nothing I can do for a client. But I listen and am there for them. That lesson was most solidly driven home to me when I worked at the county hospital in the pediatrics department. I heard parents, even if I could not help them. Especially when their children were dying. But I was there. And, it is a lesson that is also repeated at the psychiatric prison where I work. The patients just want to be heard, and respected. That means so much to them.
And to the rest of us. We want to be heard. We want to be respected. Years ago, I learned about passive, aggressive and assertive communication.
Passive communication involves the receiver not having needs met. This leads to the receiver eventually becoming frustrated and acting out inappropriately. It also results in the sender not only abusing the receiving but developing disrespect for the receiver who will not stand up for themselves.
Aggressive communication involves the sender not respecting the receiver. It does not have to be angry or belligerent communication, just disrespectful.
Assertive communication involves respecting the needs of both the sender and the receiver. It does not ensure that one or both will get what they want. But they will come out of the communication with a sense of respect that they were listened to.
That is part of the availability that the speaker talked about. Being present to another human being is such a gift.
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