Early in my life, if something was annoying or irritating, I addressed it head on, and sometimes, like a bull in a china shop. That did not always get the resolution I wanted, and in fact, often made matters worse.
As I have matured and aged, (not mutually inclusive or exclusive), I have learned to ignore a lot of annoying things. I no longer complain to a commercial establishment if things did not go well. I no longer try to resolve a situation that really has no consequence for me. I walk away from problems or confrontation more often than not. I do not complain. I just shrug and move on.
What has changed? Well, me. I have come to realize that not everything is an issue. And, of course, I have learned about "pick your battle." But mostly, I have learned that the contention created is not worth it. If it is truly important, the confrontation (We equate confrontation with conflict, which is not the same. Confrontation is facing the situation. Conflict is disagreeing about the situation.) can often be handled in a non-adversarial sort of way, which I did not realize 40 years ago. We can be accommodating, conciliatory, generous, open-minded, and willing to listen and respect if not compromise.
I do my best to keep things low-key, mellow, non-confrontational, and even, sometimes, non-assertive. I so want to low-key, back door, and slide by that I go out of my way to present that front.
Am I less passionate about issues. Yes, some. Am I less concerned about issues, no. But not as fervent or passionate. I think bridge building, alliances and cooperation gets us a lot further along than confrontation, stand offs, power plays
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