Happy Easter and God Bless!

 

When we were children, there was a lady in Millers Falls, who made elaborately designed Easter eggs, and possibly, decorated eggs for other occasions.  I don’t know if she was Polish, Russian, or Ukrainian.  Her eggs were beautiful and sometimes, magical in design.  We are hearing, now, about the increased significance of the decorated Ukrainian Easter eggs.  I am not sure when, where or how this Tradition began.  I sent an Easter ecard referencing the Romanov decorated eggs, a Russian tradition that may or may not be related to the Ukrainian tradition of decorated eggs. The point is, the Russians, the Poles, and the Ukrainians have so many shared traditions. It is so sad that peoples with shared traditions can go to war against each other. It is also a blessing that the Polish people and other Eastern European peoples have opened their hearts and their homes to the Ukrainian refugees.

Easter is a time of renewal and rebirth.  It is my prayer that there is some opportunity peace, renewal, and rebirth for the Ukrainian nation.

It is also my prayer that your personal trials find peace, renewal, and rebirth.

God bless and Happy Easter.

 

 

 

A Gratitude Post # 5

Sometimes, I struggle to do the things that have to be done. And, even more often, I struggle to do the things I want to do.  Today was one of those days. I have long since learned to decrease my expectations so I can do the best I can with what must be done, and what I want to do. But, today, I was able to manage to do what must be done, and most of what I wanted to do. So, this was a successful day.

I will also say that in my sports world, the Kansas City Chiefs won; the Tampa Bay Buccaneers beat the Patriots (neutral), the Red Sox and the Yankees will play a wild card game for the MLB post season.  I don't care who wins that game, but I will cheer till the end for both teams.

Isn't that really what life is about?  Not who wins or loses, but how we play the game? Isn't that what we baby boomers learned as children?  How has that lesson been lost?  Do we even teach it to our children in this day and age, or is it all about winning?  Shouldn't it be more about honest gamesmanship, good sportsmanship, respect, and more importantly, honor and dignity.  And most importantly of all, the greater good.  

Oh my gosh, I hope gratitude does not bleed over into Pollyanna-ism. I mean, wouldn't that be nice, but so unrealistic.  

So maybe this gratitude post is not as in touch with reality as it need to be, or should be, but tonight, I do not care.  I want to be optimistic and grateful at all cost. 

A Gratitude Post #2

Last night, we had some thunderstorms blow through.  This time of year, we usually need some rain, and 2021 is no exception.  The farmers worry about the rain damaging their cotton harvest, but everything else is pretty well dried out.  So, we had some solid rains, and thunder and lightning. This was a blessing.  I could see the lightning to the north, and at one point, it was right over my neighborhood.  My power never went out, and my electronics were not effected.  So, another blessing.

My work day went well, and a meeting was cancelled, which gave us all a breather.  Yet, another blessing.

I was so tired, it was difficult for me to finish my day.  I was able to leave after 8 hours, today at 4:30 PM, earlier than i have been able to leave work lately. I had hoped to get some extra things done at home tonight, but I was too tired, and slept while I watched TV and tried to read some professional materials. Well, I needed to sleep.  I am still tired, and hopefully my nap will not interfere with my sleep tonight.  

Focusing on positive thinking feels good.  I have had so many negative experiences in the last 2 and a half years, it has really been oppressive.  I realize, though, that I have become habituated at looking at the negative or the worst.  Focusing on a positive outlook makes things easier.  I know that.  I have known that for more than 40 years.  I just needed to be jolted out of my rut, so I can again focus on the positive.   

This Helps

So I am a fallen away Catholic.  I was raised Catholic, and even got my social work degree from the College of Our Lady of the Elms, in Chicopee, Mass. a Catholic College. It was also called Elms College back then, and markets itself as Elms College http://www.elms.edu/ now.  I like College of Our Lady of the Elms better, but what do I know.  It was a women's college when I obtained my degree.  It is a co-educational college now, and has a lot of extra-curricula activities that were not on campus during my matriculation. It also has graduate programs.  I have to say, it has really kept up with the times, and changed its image and mission to remain current and relevant in the modern world. 

So, after graduation, I volunteered as a social worker in the Laymen in the Amarillo Mission Program (LAMP), and was assigned to the Lubbock office. I worked for Catholic Family Service, Inc. for ten years.

During that time, I married a man who was not Catholic.  He was willing to go through whatever classes and conversions needed so I could continue to be Catholic.  But his involvement would have been a lie. I could not suborn that.  I continued to attend Mass for a while but did not receive the sacraments, and finally, despaired of participating in the Catholic Church.  One of the Palatine priests told me I should have asked him, and he would have married us in the Catholic Church. After the fact. I wish I had.

I never thought that I should abide by the Roman Catholic doctrine of not using birth control (other than "the rhythm method.") I think Roman Catholic women or families should freely be able to use birth control pills, and tubal ligation if they so choose. I fervently believe the policy of teaching abstinence is an invitation to unwed pregnancy, STDs and HIV.

Years after that, I was married and divorced again. Which further distanced me from the Roman Catholic Church.

I think the Roman Catholic Church should openly welcome gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgender individuals. I am sorry that the Roman Catholic Church does not understand about acceptance, and love. I love that Pope Francis said "who am I to judge" about homosexuals. 

I have been asked about my feelings about the ruling of the United States Supreme Court, upholding the right of homosexuals to be legally married, with all of the rights and privileges attached. I know family and friends who are benefited by this ruling, and I have to say I want them to be treated with dignity, respect, and equal protection under the law.

Today on Facebook, I saw this interview about "Hell."http://deadstate.org/retired-priest-hell-was-invented-by-the-church-to-control-people-with-ear/?utm_campaign=shareaholic&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=socialnetwork

This helps me so much. It validates my belief about Heaven, Hell and God. I think that the teachings of God are about love, forgiveness, acceptance,service and kindness to one another.

I do not believe in Hell. I do not believe in being condemned to an eternal life of unforgiveness, pain and suffering.  I believe that God gives us the opportunity to be good people, and if our overwhelming actions show us to be children of God, our mistakes will be forgiven. 

A Biblical Plague

I really feel like I have been infested with a Biblical plague.  I have chronicled my automobile and cell phone problems.  Thursday night, my skin infection returned from out of nowhere! And, today, while I was doing laundry, my drains backed up.   So that put the kibosh on laundry.  The drain clean out was covered with leaves, so I thought I should clean that area of the backyard.  And, of course, I ended up cleaning the entire back yard.  I did not even plan to do that this weekend. I will say that between the celebrex and my physical therapy exercises, I am getting stronger.   It only took about 2 hours to rake the entire yard, with only two rest breaks.  That is about what it used to take before my back started bothering me.  Of course, I am very sore tonight.

On the other hand, the snow and freezing rain we had last weekend and early this past week knocked most of the leaves off the trees around my house, except the Bradford Pear, to the east.  I sometimes do not even rake leaves until New Years, because I want to wait until they are all down.  The last couple of years, I have raked a couple of times for two reasons 1) I get tired of looking at the leaves and 2) it takes me so long to rake.

I still have to do the front and alley, but that is not so bad.

I did some serious house cleaning that I was not planning to do, but did not mess with the bathrooms until I can get the plumber in. Nor did I wash the kitchen floor, for the same reason.  I called, but it was about 1 PM, and the on-call guy had 8 calls ahead of me.  I will check in the morning and see what the prospect is for repairs tomorrow.  Amazing, at 10:15 PM the plumber called.  He has had a long day, but says they only take weekend call once a month.  He was willing to come out tonight, but I told him not to: the cleanout is in a corner of the backyard where there are no lights, and he will have to get on the roof to do the washing machine cleanout.  So we have an appointment for noon tomorrow. That makes me happy.  I will be able to do the laundry in the afternoon.

The car starts once, but does not hold enough of a charge to start again. I am hoping it will start Monday morning so I do not have to bother a neighbor to get a jump start, but either way I need to be able to get to the repair shop. 

The injection that Sake received last Tuesday just did not work as well as the first time.   She runs to food, but does not eat.  She smacks her lips, but does not eat.  She did eat some baby food chicken, some hard treats, some turkey wing meat, and liver tonight. Just a little of each.  It is so frustrating. She eats a little at a time, but will not go back to something she has eaten earlier in the day.  I am thinking the next step is to have her teeth extracted.  I hate to do that, because she will have so much trouble grooming. She will just have to let me help her more. 

Well, the cell phone works.  The car is safe in the garage.  I can renew my library books online or by phone tomorrow.  I did get groceries today, but had to get a jump start to get home.  It takes almost nothing to start the car, so that is weird. 

One thing that has come out of this is that I can now back the car into the garage.  I did that for the first time Wednesday night, and I bet it took me 30 minutes. Maybe not, but I sweated over it and did it inch by inch, correcting and recorrecting.   Yesterday, it did not take me that long, and today, it took even less time. Of course, I still need to be careful, but it is nice to know I have that skill.

What is really weird, is that I do not think twice about backing the car out of the garage, it is just a straight shot, but sometimes, I end up crooked off the driveway.  Well, I am glad I have learned this new skill!

I Am So Blessed

I think about my life and how things are for me, and I am so blessed.  I have good friends. I have concerned coworkers. I have an extended family who are there if I need them.  I have fun pets. I have a career that I enjoy, and that I feel allows me to contribute back to society.  I can participate in my professional organization and have good colleagues with whom I can interact, receive support, and with whom I can work in harmony.  I am able to give back to my community by volunteering on a board of directors of a non-profit agency that is well respected and does good works in the community. I have access to health care if I need it. I have a home. I am able to express my feelings, negative or positive, to my elected officials about the state of the government.  I am able to participate in activities which I enjoy.

I am so blessed.  I am sure I have missed some of my blessings. Count your blessings. They are probably many, more that we might initially think about.

Reminiscing

Sadly, the father of a co-worker died last night. He had been ill for quite some time, and he had been in Hospice care.  He had been in a care home, as my co-worker needed to work, but needed him tended to. Some few weeks ago, she moved him back home.  He perked up for a while when he first moved home, but most recently went into a coma, and peacefully, as she described it, died.  For that, I am thankful.

That, and the sharing at work today of how my ancestors Anglicized their names, has awoken in me some very wonderful memories about my parents and grandparents.  I have been sitting here, listening to some very good music, and telling myself stories about my family.  Memories that I cherish and exemplify the best of my family. 

I do not go down memory lane very frequently.  But when I do, I try to find the pearls and gems that I most appreciate. And those have come to me tonight.

I am so thankful that I have a warm, full, rich store of memories of my family. 

Thinking About Writing

I have not blogged since 8-8-13.  I was not too concerned about that for the first couple of nights. A break, a day off, is not bad.  But last night, I tried to blog, and could not clear my mind enough to be able to write anything. This happens, more frequently than I would wish, but it happens.

During the last few days, I have listened a lot to the Gregorian Chant CDs that I have.  They help to mellow me.  I have to say, I honestly believe that my physical health as well as my mental health improves when I listen to Gregorian Chants. The first Gregorian chant I purchased was "Salve Regina" on a Philips label.  Later, I purchased "Gregorian Melodies, Popular Chants Vol 11," and "Gregorian Book of Silos" 

I was reflecting the past few days, how much more physically safe and sound, and calm I am, when I listed to Gregorian chants. I have a CD of bagpipe music that also contributes to my mellowness, but not to my groundedness. And if that makes no sense, I am sorry, I cannot explain it any other way.

At work today, I was thinking about my inability to blog, and that I needed to listen to some of the Gregorian chants, if not all, that I have.

Imagine my surprise, as I drove home, that NPR had a story about the music of nuns: http://www.npr.org/2013/08/13/211639502/life-as-prayer-the-singing-nuns-of-ann-arbor.  I like the comments of the sister who says: "We bring people back where the culture, sad to say, is selling them short," Sister Joseph Andrew says. "The culture is not saying you need silence; you need to calm down; you need to meet God in however you might choose to worship him. And I think when you turn this music on, something interiorly starts to calm down. And there starts to be a freedom to be able to really listen to God within."

I so agree, and have discovered I so want to live my life with this calmness.  After Ken and I divorced, Mack, my dog, and I developed a pastoral kind of life. It was idyllic. 

Then, I got involved in a relationship with Bob.  I did not identify it at the time, although some of my friends did, but the emotional turmoil of the relationship was convulsive.  It was not until I was finally out of it in 2006 that I truly realized how destructive it was.

I have returned to a more idyllic existence. I still have turmoil in my life.  I would not be human if I did not. But life is so much more pastoral, and idyllic.  The Gregorian chants help me have the existence. 

Be Careful What You Ask For, You Might Get It

You have heard this before.  I know I am guilty of this.  I have asked for something for the last few years, and now that I have what I asked for, I realize that what I had was better than what the new situation was.

Has this happened to you? I bet it has.

I recall a story about a group of people who were on a retreat. They were asked to put their trials and tribulations on a piece of paper in a basket.  Then, they were to take a piece of paper from the basket, and decide if they wanted to keep that adversity, or turn it back in.  To a person, they chose to keep their own adversity. Better the devil I know.

We shall survive and persevere.  But what bumps and lumps along the way.

God Bless You

Today, I had the opportunity to interact with some family members of one of my patients who is very unstable sometimes.  They were very concerned about his well being, I was able to explain to them that he had been unstable, but was now stabilized, and is doing better.  I am honest with the family members I speak to, and acknowledge the faults of our system as well as what we are able to do for our patients.  Most families seem to appreciate that.

The family members I spoke to today all told me "God bless you."  I hope they meant it.  I need all the blessings from God that I can get.