Sake to the Last

On July 15, 2015, I made a promise to Sake that I was taking her to the veterinarian for the last time.  She ate very little that day, and let me hold her for about 40 minutes before it was time to leave for the vet's office.  She went willingly into the crate.

She was crying and growling as we made the trip.  I am not sure she understood my message that this was the last trip she would have to make to the vet.  She was not happy. 

When we got into the exam room, and took the top off the cat carrier, she was bright eyed and alert.  But she had dropped 2 pound from Friday the 10th, to Wednesday the 15th.  She could no longer sustain her weight, or life for very long. 

When the vet and the tech came into the exam room, and the vet was getting ready to give Sake a sedative, the tech misjudged her, and Sake balked.  The tech and I both held her down for the vet.  They left while the sedative was allowed to work.  When the vet returned to the room, just a few minutes later, she asked "Did I hear her growl at me?"  "Yes," I said.  ("Sake to the last," I thought.  And as I told this story to others, they all agreed.)  The tech and vet both pet on her, remarking how they could not do so during her life.  They then gave her the final anesthesia.

The vet's office called the crematorium and cemetery for me.  The next afternoon, I had a chance to go out to pick out a box.  I told them I did not expect them to have her ready, but I wanted to take care of the box selection.  When I arrived at the crematorium and cemetery, they told me Sake was ready.  So, I chose a wooden box: Sake liked boxes, and so do I.  And, I brought her home.

I was able to fulfill the promise to Sake that she would not need to return to the vet's office again!  I was satisfied. 

Am I sad? Yes.  Do I miss her?  Yes.  Did I do the right thing, and the best thing for her?  I have no doubt in my mind.  

When I went into the hospital on the 17th, worrying about Sake was one less item on my mind.  But less selfishly, worrying about if I was continuing her needless suffering was not an issue.  

Do Haiku and Taki miss her?  Yes.  But they were less upset on the 15th, when I arrived home from the vet without her, than they had been on the 10th, when I arrived home without her, because she had been left a the vet's for sedation and lab work.   

The last few days of Sake's life, Haiku and Taki sat in the living room with her, just watching and waiting, while she laid under the futon.  Without being disrespectful, I hope, to the Hebrew religion, it kind of reminded me of "sitting shivas" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiva_(Judaism).   

Hideout

I felt really bad the morning after Christmas.  During the night, I thought I heard Sake crying, and got up to check on her. She seemed okay, so I went back to bed.  It happened again, and again I checked, and went back to bed.  Very, very early that morning, I got up and realized that Taki had not come to bed to bother me as is her early morning habit. Both she and Haiku jump on me, walk all over me, lay on me, and scratch at me almost every morning. Sake does that sometimes when she is feeling good, and there were no leftovers accessible overnight, or when she is feeling bad, and wants to eat, but does not feel well enough to eat.

Well, Haiku was in bed, and Sake was resting, what looked like comfortably, in the living room. So, I opened the garage door, and there was Taki.  She did not seem frightened or distressed.  The night had been mild so the garage was not really any colder than the house.  I just did not realize she had been in the garage.  I realize I had been in it late, and she probably snuck in, which she sometimes does, without my knowledge. 

What was really interesting to me was how very much her cry for help was like Sake's cry when she is not feeling well.  I do not think I had heard that particular vocalization from Taki before. I will remember that and not be satisfied with checking on Sake when I hear it.

As I said, I felt bad, but she seemed none the worse for wear.

This morning, I woke about 3:40 AM and could not go back to sleep.  I tried my various go back to sleep tricks, but none worked, so I got up and read. I was sitting on the reclining sofa, and there were times that Sake joined me, but she left when Taki joined me at the other end of the sofa.  Taki scratched at the end of the sofa, and Haiku was on my lap for a large part of the time.

Well, the clock ticked on, and I never became sleepy enough to go back to bed, so I finally got up and fixed cat breakfast. Twice. Early, about 5:30 AM and later, about 7:00 AM.  And, Taki missed both meals.  This concerned me.  Taki does not miss a meal, she does not miss breakfast, she does not miss dinner, she does not miss treats, she does not miss snacks, she does not miss food.

But, she did this morning.  So, I checked the garage, and she was not there. So, then I checked under the sofa, and sure enough, she was there. I do not get how she does that.  Is she crawling in when I have the leg rest up?  But she was under the other section this time, which she could do, from the section with the raised leg rest.  Or does she crawl in from the opening in the back, and not know how to get out? (Some days, she seems to know how to push open doors, or pull them open, but other times, it seems to be a totally foreign concept to her.) 

The thing is, between the first and second breakfast, I was sitting on the sofa with the leg rest up.  So if she climbed in under the raised leg rest, and then migrated to the other end of the sofa, why did she not migrate back when I raised the leg rest again?  I do not  understand.

Once again, she did not seem worse for the wear.  I am not trying to be nonchalant about her escapades, I am just relieved that she does not seem to be stressed by them.

It has been about a year since the last time Taki got herself stuck under the sofa.  I hope she does not do it again anytime soon.