How Was Your Day?

My niece is posting these comments about "this is what I did today, how was your day?"  Some of her comments are almost trivial, although they do make a statement. Today, I responded as follows:

A was instrumental in resolving a conflict in management procedures for patients housed on one of my pods at work. When I went to work this morning, I really did not have any tasks to do today, but as this situation evolved, I knew that was why I went to work today! Being a social worker is like that. 

I did not include that, as it happened the mothers of two of those clients called to check on them today.  It was nice to be able to assure their mothers that they were being treated in the most humane and appropriate way we could in a prison!

And, I did not add, that this week, I met with a patient who has been struggling with values of self-worth. He is not the only patient I saw this week who heard my comments about "you have value because you are you, because you exist.  That it does not matter what you do, what your crime is, what your sentence is or what your relationships are.  You have value because you are you. You have value to me, because you are a human being.  My job is to help you to continue to be so you can grow your value for you." 

Another patient I saw this week repeated back to me that he understood what I said about feeling good about giving 100%. That 100% varies from day to day, some days is lower and some days is higher, but on any given day, you give 100%. And you can appreciate yourself for always giving 100%.  This patient said he did not believe the coping skills I suggested would help him, but he did them anyway, and he was surprised by the help he received!

And, I met with a patient who was eager for help, and ready to try anything!  He said he tried the suggestion we gave him to improve his sleep, and it did!  He studied the stress management, relaxation and anger management materials he was given, and he realized that he did not have to solve his problems with verbal arguments and physical fights.

Okay, so a couple of weeks ago, I basically chastised several patients who really do not need hospitalization, have done nothing to help themselves, and are taking up beds needed by sicker patients.  I told them that my vote for treatment team was discharge. 

Since then, I have seen an increase in requests to review the self-help therapy materials we distribute. And an increase in these kind of positive comments.

And, before I did the chastising, one of the patients in that category told me he was working on the materials (on my dare) and was surprised that it helped!

So, these patients might be "blowing smoke" at me, and not really buying into the self help program we provide.  But even if they are "faking it till they make it" they are getting something out of the program. 

This is why I do what I do.  Many of my colleagues who have been at the facility where I have worked almost 20 years, many who have been there less, talk regularly about the fact that they cannot wait to be eligible for retirement. Many admit to being burned out. Some often ask me how I keep fresh after almost 20 years, and I tell them it is my commitment to do 100% at whatever level that  is, and the satisfaction that gives me that keeps me going. And, I acknowledge that I have my highs and lows, and need breaks and need to be revitalized.  But I take revitalization in the small things.  

I admit that there are other things, than work, that I want to do in life, but that is what annual leave is for.  When I get this kind of feedback from my patients, and even my colleagues that I was instrumental in helping them, I know I am doing what I need to do to be helping mankind, one person at a time.



 

A Very Tired Day

I did not sleep well the night of March 17th.  I am not sure what that is about. It is what it is. And this has been going on since last Wednesday, March 11, 205.

I woke up very early the morning of March 18th, and could not go back to sleep, so I showered and dressed for work, then sat on the sofa. Haiku and Sake joined me, and I slept for quite a while, before I fed cats and finished getting ready for work.

I had a busy day at work, but for the most part, it was an easy day. I did two training presentations, and I felt like they were well received, which always makes me feel well.

But, by the end of my work day, I was pretty well wiped out.  Although I would have liked to call it a day, Wednesday night is a good night to get to the Lifestyle Center http://www.covenanthealth.org/Our-Services/LifeStyle-Centre.aspx , as open swim starts at 5:30 PM.  Well, as I worked late, and fed the cats before going to the Center, I did not get there until after  6:30.  The pool room was warm, but the water felt colder than I like. However, as I did my routine, I could feel the relief from the discomfort and pressure on my right hip/side/buttock/leg. I am not sure where the pain is. I just know it hurts.

I think it is true that if you do not feel like doing some self care activity, it is probably a most needed activity, and you should force yourself to do it. So, I usually try to force myself.  Tonight, that was good for me.

I am blessed to have insurance that covers health care modalities that can help me, even if they do not cure me.  I am so thankful that my physical therapist trusts me enough to acknowledge that I can do exercises on my own to help myself, at home, or at the Lifestyle Center.

Some days, it is very difficult to be suffering from pain, disability, injury. I think, as a society, we do not acknowledge enough what people suffer and how it affects their life.  I know for me, on days I have extreme pain, it affects my energy level, my frustration tolerance, my decision making, and even my thinking.  It affects my decisions about physical movement. I hope I do not diminish myself as a person because of my pain. I am in hopes that if I do diminish myself because of my pain, if I do not recognize it, my colleagues will have the courage and humanity to inform me of this, so I can gracefully withdraw from my professional life as a social worker.

It is my hope that my pain and therapy experiences make me more aware and tolerant of the situations my clients experience.  Therapy of any kind is not easy.  As human beings, we do not make changes easily.  We are resistant mentally and physically.  We make excuses. We give up.  I get that. I also get that we need to keep going, one step at a time.  That is what I try.

The End of PT and Other Medical Issues

So, the physical therapist at Spectra http://spectraphysicaltherapy.com/ was surprised when we asked for additional sessions a couple of weeks ago, and were granted two more from my insurance, United Health Care http://www.uhc.com/live/uhc_com/Assets/Documents/landing.html.  So, that gave me an additional pool session, and a final "wrap up" session today.  As with the last PT series, I had gained remarkable strength and range of motion in my right leg. But unlike last time, I had also gained amazing pain relief.  My therapist and  I attribute this to the therapy that I was doing in the pool. It was amazing how much it helped me.  I could not believe it: It was like the difference between night and day in what I could do.

It may be a combination of PT, and a slower than expected response to the epidural sterocortisone injection I receive in late May.  And, an ongoing response to the Celebrex that I take daily. But, I believe it was the pool therapy that helped the most.

Well, sure enough, the insurance company has contacted me and said I need to try another, less expensive medication for pain relief. Of the three they suggested, ibuprophen, meloxicam, and naproxen, I have tried ibuprophen and naproxen over the counter, with no success. While I am not opposed to trying meloxicam, I am a firm believer in "if it's not broke, don't fix it."  So, I will negotiate with my provider regarding how best to respond to the insurance.

Additionally, in the same vein of "if it's not broke, don't fix it," I have decided that if water therapy was working at PT, then I can continue doing some of the same on my own.  I have explored the possibility of joining the Lifestyle Center at Covenant Hospital http://www.covenanthealth.org/Our-Services/LifeStyle-Centre.aspx.  I did a tour, and picked up the application material. I discussed my plan with Robert at Spectra, and he agreed it was a good plan, and suggested I set a goal of two times a week: manageable, and he acknowledged that too much of a goal is self defeating.  He was so much in agreement with the plan, that rather letting me rely on my memory of the exercises I did in the pool, he gave me a copy of the regimen I had been following!  Wow! What an affirmation for me that this is the right thing to do.  Thank you, Robert!

I still need to contact my doctor and get the appropriate documentation from her.  I am not usually a procrastinator, but I wanted to discuss this plan with my PT before enacting it.  As it turns out, that was not a bad plan, because now I can address the insurance/medication issue and the medical documentation needed for the Lifestyle Center at the same time.

This is one of those situations in life in which I believe things happen for a reason, and in this case, we can see the reason.   I am excited about going forward in my life with these options available to help me with my health.