Veteran's Day

At work today, I saw a co-worker who wore a red white and blue flag motif tie. It was in honor of Veterans Day.  We chatted briefly: he was not a veteran, but had uncles who had been in World War II.  I shared that I had a paternal uncle who was in the Navy during World War II. When we asked my uncle what he did in the war, his stock answer was that he went to England. If you pressed him further, he would also say he went to San Diego. After this uncle died, in his effects, was a letter from Admiral Nimitz regarding his participation in D Day. My uncle never said anything about that.

I remember that I had maternal uncles who were in the military.  My recollection was that they served in Korea, but I could be wrong about this.  I know that one or more of my maternal uncles were in the military. Somewhere.

My father had polio as a child so had a medical deferment during World War II. He also worked in the electric power generation industry during World War II so would have probably had a deferment based on is profession.

My oldest brother was not drafted during the Vietnam War.  My younger brother's life was in between conflicts or war.

None of my female relatives were in the military, except the wife of one of my maternal uncles either during World War II or the Korean Conflict.

My first ex-husband was in the Marines.  His brother was in the Army, and served in Viet Nam. My first ex-husband said he was beaten and generally castigated because he did not go to Viet Nam. At first, I did not believe him, but years later, I do. 

I think the military services in the United States have some very barbaric and out-dated training and induction rituals that serve no purpose. I believe things have improved, and the racial discrimination has diminished but is not gone. I think the sexual harassment culture has decreased but has not been eliminated.

I think the reality is that women may not be able to do all of the physical things that men can do.  I also believe that women can do many things that they are believed not able to do, if they are only given a chance.

I recently watched a movie https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_of_Honor  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0203019/   about Carl Brashear https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Brashear who became the first African-American Master Diver in the United States Navy.  The movie depicts the great odds and horrible discrimination he had to overcome to become a Navy diver, and to continue to be a Navy diver after he was seriously injured in service to his country. 

This movie is an eye opener about how racial integration in the military did not occur smoothly. It is a compelling story, and the racial factor adds to it.

I live in hope that we have moved beyond those racial discrimination lines, but I am not always sure about that.

But I can hope.

Yeah! For South Carolina

Today, the State of South Carolina showed itself as a state looking to the future. After emotional and somewhat heated debate, the bill was passed that allowed for the Confederate Flag "Stars and Bars" to be taken down from the capitol property in Columbia,  SC, and placed in a museum on the capitol property http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/south-carolina-confederate-flag_559e0307e4b05b1d028fb690?ir=Politics&section=politics&utm_campaign=070915&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Alert-politics&utm_content=FullStory&ncid=newsltushpmg00000003.  Governor Nikki Haley had promised to sign the bill quickly.  And, she did.  http://www.kcbd.com/story/29510871/south-carolina-governor-confederate-flag-comes-down-friday.  The best thing, in my mind, that although the flag is going to be relegated to a Civil War "relic room," there will be a ceremony that will treat the flag with dignity and honor. 

Why is this good?  Because although the flag's symbolism is mixed: "hatred vs. heritage" a ceremony to lay it to rest honors all:  It honors those for whom the flag symbolizes the heritage and the history of their family.  A ceremony also can be a rite of passage for those who view the flag as a symbol of hatred: A rite of passage ending an era of hate and racism, and starting a new era of forward thinking, future looking, respect and dignity embracing, inclusive and accepting people. 

It is symbolic that South Carolina leads the way: it lead the way into the Civil War.  It can now lead the way into a new era of compassion, acceptance and unity.  South Carolina has a burden to bear: to continue to move forward with inclusion, acceptance, equality, dignity, respect. 

What an outcome from an act of hate.

Honor Flight

I am not sure when the concept of Honor Flight http://www.texassouthplainshonorflight.org/about/ originated, but it is several years old.  It involves raising community funds so that World War II, Korean, or even Vietnam War veterans can travel to Washington, D. C. without charge to them, to view the memorials, especially those dedicated to them.  The priority is to send the World War II veterans first, given their age and fragility. 

Why is this important?  Well, think about it.  The veterans from these wars sacrificed so much for our country, and were variably honored upon their return.  You could say the veterans from the Vietnam War were not honored.  But memorials have been built to them in Washington, D.C. How better to acknowledge and honor a veteran, than to give that veteran a chance to view the national memorial erected on behalf of that veteran. And, to allow that veteran to travel to see the memorial at no cost to the veteran.

I think this is a community activity that demonstrates dignity and respect to veterans, shows that they are honored, and gives them a special recognition. It also shows the dignity and respect of the community towards the heroes that protect our country.

Go, Honor Flight!

How Was Your Day?

My niece is posting these comments about "this is what I did today, how was your day?"  Some of her comments are almost trivial, although they do make a statement. Today, I responded as follows:

A was instrumental in resolving a conflict in management procedures for patients housed on one of my pods at work. When I went to work this morning, I really did not have any tasks to do today, but as this situation evolved, I knew that was why I went to work today! Being a social worker is like that. 

I did not include that, as it happened the mothers of two of those clients called to check on them today.  It was nice to be able to assure their mothers that they were being treated in the most humane and appropriate way we could in a prison!

And, I did not add, that this week, I met with a patient who has been struggling with values of self-worth. He is not the only patient I saw this week who heard my comments about "you have value because you are you, because you exist.  That it does not matter what you do, what your crime is, what your sentence is or what your relationships are.  You have value because you are you. You have value to me, because you are a human being.  My job is to help you to continue to be so you can grow your value for you." 

Another patient I saw this week repeated back to me that he understood what I said about feeling good about giving 100%. That 100% varies from day to day, some days is lower and some days is higher, but on any given day, you give 100%. And you can appreciate yourself for always giving 100%.  This patient said he did not believe the coping skills I suggested would help him, but he did them anyway, and he was surprised by the help he received!

And, I met with a patient who was eager for help, and ready to try anything!  He said he tried the suggestion we gave him to improve his sleep, and it did!  He studied the stress management, relaxation and anger management materials he was given, and he realized that he did not have to solve his problems with verbal arguments and physical fights.

Okay, so a couple of weeks ago, I basically chastised several patients who really do not need hospitalization, have done nothing to help themselves, and are taking up beds needed by sicker patients.  I told them that my vote for treatment team was discharge. 

Since then, I have seen an increase in requests to review the self-help therapy materials we distribute. And an increase in these kind of positive comments.

And, before I did the chastising, one of the patients in that category told me he was working on the materials (on my dare) and was surprised that it helped!

So, these patients might be "blowing smoke" at me, and not really buying into the self help program we provide.  But even if they are "faking it till they make it" they are getting something out of the program. 

This is why I do what I do.  Many of my colleagues who have been at the facility where I have worked almost 20 years, many who have been there less, talk regularly about the fact that they cannot wait to be eligible for retirement. Many admit to being burned out. Some often ask me how I keep fresh after almost 20 years, and I tell them it is my commitment to do 100% at whatever level that  is, and the satisfaction that gives me that keeps me going. And, I acknowledge that I have my highs and lows, and need breaks and need to be revitalized.  But I take revitalization in the small things.  

I admit that there are other things, than work, that I want to do in life, but that is what annual leave is for.  When I get this kind of feedback from my patients, and even my colleagues that I was instrumental in helping them, I know I am doing what I need to do to be helping mankind, one person at a time.



 

Fallen Officer Ceremony

Today at work we had a Fallen Officer Ceremony https://www.odmp.org/agency/3822-texas-department-of-criminal-justice-texas.  This is a simple ceremony recognizing officers who have died in the line of duty since the last year.  This year, two were highlighted: they died in a bus accident transporting offenders from Abilene to El Paso http://www.oaoa.com/news/traffic_transportation/article_ecb9a086-9c05-11e4-8b48-5bab3838995d.html.

Usually, this ceremony starts with Amazing Grace played on bagpipes.  One year, we had real bag pipes.  Often, the rider-less horse with the boots pointing backwards is present. This year, the ceremony was inside due to the weather, so no horse. One year, the ceremony was moved inside at the last minute, so the rider-less horse was out in the rain seen through the windows. There are prayers, a short speech, and the reading of fallen officers names.  This varies.  Sometimes it is historical. Sometimes it is the list that have died in the line of duty for the agency, the state and/or the nation. 

The agency also sets a fallen officer table http://www.ehow.com/how_8721497_prepare-fallen-soldier-table.html in the foyer.

Tradition and ceremony is important to the place I work.  It might be corny, but I respect, admire, and appreciate tradition and ceremony, when it is purposeful and meaningful. This is purposeful and meaningful.  It shows respect for our downed colleagues. It reminds us that correctional work is dangerous, and we need to be careful. It honors those who have gone before us. 

Thank you for that.

Memorial Day, and Honoring Our National Heroes

This was on PBS on Memorial Day:  http://video.pbs.org/video/2318014363/  If you did not see it, it is well worth watching.  It talks about how there was not a way to bury and acknowledge the war dead during the The War Between the North and the South (I purposefully chose not to call it the Civil War or the War of Northern Aggression), and how, out of that grew the national recognition we now have for our veterans, deceased and serving.

Amazingly, but understandably, the recording, remembrances, and honoring of the dead was most attributed to the slaves and freed slaves. Honoring the dead, black or white,  was more important to them than to the Anglos at the time.  Also, it was due to the hard physical labor of the blacks that the bodies of the deceased were dug up and re-interned or otherwise recognized.  We had much to learn from the culture of the Afro-Americans, even then, that we ignored.

But this time resulted in the establishment of National Cemeteries.  And the acknowledgement of the war dead as national heroes.  President Lincoln's Gettysburg Address: http://www.abrahamlincolnonline.org/lincoln/speeches/gettysburg.htm contributed so much to this recognition.

I agree with my niece it would be nice if we did not have to recruit and send our citizens in harm's way for the protection of our country.  Sometimes, as with the Native Americans, our efforts have been less than honorable.  Yet, also look at how many Native Americans have served the greater good of this nation.  Sometimes, with our more recent wars and conflicts, we have been the aggressors, often in an attempt to keep the aggression off our continent, or so we think. Do you want more attacks like the ones on the World Trade Center? Or the Pentagon? Or the airplane over Pennsylvania?

Although I would like to not have a military force and see us send our citizens in harm's way, I am a realist, and I am not sure that is possible.  And, harm's way can be recovery and rescue missions in the face of other types of tragedy as well as war: natural disaster, internal disruptive incidents of horrific result.  And, I am glad those forces are there to help when these incidents occur.

I am not ashamed to thank people for their military service on behalf of our country.  I also thank policemen, firemen, EMTs, and corrections officers.  We do not appreciate how important that is. I called the fire department a couple of years ago: At about 10 PM, my furnace motor burned up, and I was concerned that it might have started a smoldering fire in the heater closet. 911 dispatch  told me to vacate the house, and sent 3 fire trucks.  The firemen swarmed through my house, checked the heater closet, the pump outside, the electric line connections, the roof, the back yard, the fuse box (I had to go back inside to show them where it was) and the attic.  I apologized for the false alarm when nothing was found.  They told me they would much rather I call before I had a problem than wait till I woke up in the middle of the night with a problem. I took that sincerely.  I did not get a bill.  

Local police, county, state and national police (FBI) are the equivalent of the military forces in our country. What would happen if we had none of that in place, last year, on April 15, 2013, at the end of the Boston Marathon.  How do you prevent further destruction?  That broke my heart.   

We do not want to put lives on the line. But the reality is, lives are constantly being put on the line. Sometimes it is military, sometimes it police, fire, EMT.  Sometimes it is people who work on ambulance services, helicopter ambulances, and even teachers and social workers.

What I came away within from watching this show is that we are a nation that has learned a very difficult lesson, and have had to learn it more than once, that it is very important to acknowledge, recognize, honor and revere our public servants, no matter what role they have. We have learned to acknowledge them by monuments, cemeteries, ceremonies, rituals, medals.  Most recently, our communities have reached out and are starting to acknowledge them by special programs, services, and commerical and business options. 

Also, most recently I am aware of the scandal of the problems in the Veteran's Administration regarding of the veteran's health care system: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/federal-eye/wp/2014/05/15/a-guide-to-the-va-health-care-controversy/.  I do not know the truths of the Veteran's Administration Health Care System.  I want to believe it is well intentioned. But this is not the first time the VA has had a black eye regarding veteran's health care. Note this story about Veteran's Health care in 2003 http://www.enquirer.com/editions/2003/05/25/loc_VAhealthcare.html.  The point is we constantly need to strive to be sure that our Veterans receive the benefits and assistance they truly deserve.

And, I am so proud that this is a part of our national heritage.  I am not familiar with other countries. I wonder how this is handled in other countries.  It may be better, and we may have more to learn from other countries.  It is my dearest hope we are doing everything we can to help and acknowledge our service providers.

The Third Person

I had a return visit to the optometrist today, and it went well from my perspective. People were much more explanatory and communicative, and personable than the last visit.  I signed in as I was supposed to but did not get taken to my appointment in a timely way. The nurse I was to see came looking for me:  the front desk was so busy, they never told her I was there.  She understood the problem.

Something happened that disconcerted me, and I am embarrassed to say that I did not speak up, but should have. At one point the optometrist and his nurse were reviewing my record and talking about me in the third person as if I were not present.  I understand this phenomenon. I try not to do this when I am talking about a patient with another provider, but it is an easy mode to fall into.  I did not feel comfortable enough to say "Hey, I am in the room, talk about me as if I am present."  By the end of the visit today, if that had happens again, I would have felt I could say that. 

Before today, my last visit was as had been on a previous visit to this optometrist: I felt like I was treated as a number, a case, a non-entity.  Today, largely because of the personableness of the nurse who did my field of vision test, I felt as if I was being treated as a person, an individual. She even offered me a drink!  Wow!

Anyway, they repeated some tests that they did last time. Last time, one attendant put me in front of a machine that had me sitting in a very uncomfortable position, and although I complained to the attendant (she may be a nurse) she just blew me off. This time, she made a point to ask me if I was comfortable.  The other test they repeated that I had a problem with was frustrating. Last time, the same attendant just "powered me through."  This time, after having dealt with the really good nurse, I asked for time to rest my eyes between session, and asked for the machines to be adjusted better.  I still flunked the test.

Even the optometrist this time was more personable, and talked to me as if I was present, instead of talking over me or talking at me.  I cannot say he talked with me, but he did better.

I am reminded of a situation that I was in some many years ago at my current place of employment. We were in treatment team, which involved a variety of different professionals: social worker (me), psychologist, medical provider, nurse, security and probably some ancillary therapists meeting with a patient.  The patient was Spanish speaking and we had a certified interpreter present. As the meeting progressed, I talked to the patient when it was appropriate for me to talk, and the interpreter did the interpreting. Part way through the session, the psychologist said something that maybe I should have said but did not.

The psychologist said that we were not using the interpreter appropriately, that we all should be talking to the patient and let the interpreter do his job.  That we should not talk about  the patient with the interpreter as if the patient were not present. He also said that he suspected that the social worker in me caused me not to confront my colleagues about the fact they were not behaving as they should, but I just continued to model appropriate behavior so the rest could figure it out for themselves.  You could have heard a pin drop.  Everyone in the room apologized to the patient that they were not talking to him.

I have to wonder how long that lesson lasted with the professionals in that room.

I am reminded about that session because of the way the optometrist and attendant behaved today. I am determined, when I go back for my 6 month follow up, if they behave that way, that I will speak up and say do not talk about me as if I am not in the room, talk with  me and to me.

Reading About the Holocaust

I am not sure when the story of the Holocaust became an important story in my life.  I remember in junior high, my social studies teacher commenting on how the Jewish families probably talked about news at the dinner table, instead of frivolous things.  I had to raise my hand.  My family watched the news at the dinner table, and talked about it.

This teacher said something to the effect of "Of course, your family would." She then went on to tell me and the class that my Polish grandparents had been in a citizenship class that she taught. My grandparents had immigrated to the United States in 1903, and eventually become US citizens. I did not appreciate that then as much as I do today! 

I remember one time asking my father why his parents came to America. I suspect it was about this same time in my life.  He said my grandparents saw how things were and did not want to be a part of it.  I was not quite sure what that meant, but I had an inkling it had to do with the persecution of the Jews and other politics. While that was occurring during the time my grandparents immigrated, it was well before the Holocaust.

When I was in high school, one of our parish priests had traveled to Europe, to the what was then called the Eastern Block Countries.  He went to one or more of the concentration camps, and brought back pictures and information which he shared with us.  You must remember in the 1960s, access to the Eastern Block Countries was limited, and the information about the Holocaust was also limited to what was available in West Germany, France, Switzerland, Austria, the Netherlands, Belgium, Bulgaria and Hungary, maybe Czechoslovakia.  My history is fuzzy, what other countries would have been free enough to provide information about the Holocaust. But much of the history of the Holocaust was behind "the Iron Curtain http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_Curtain."

This same parish priest was really into Ecumenism, and one of his efforts included having the Catholic Women's Council do a Seder Supper during Lent. I was able to attend, and learned a lot about Passover.  I was also reading Chaim Potok's http://potok.lasierra.edu/ books, as suggested by my home town librarian.

So, when I went away to college, the person who eventually became my best friend had the soundtrack to "Fiddler on the Roof."  Her uncle was involved with show business, and this play and promoted it.  It became a favorite, and the story became a favorite.  I know the songs, and much of the dialogue of the movie, by heart. And the heartbreak, and injustices.  

Well,  before and while I was doing my social work internship when I was a social work student at Our Lady of the Elms, I did a lot of reading about the Holocaust, fiction and non-fiction.   I read everything in the small Millers Falls library, which was limited, and then branched out to what was available in the area libraries, including Greenfield and Springfield. My internship supervisor, who worked at the Franklin County Community Action Center, and who had been involved in the Southern Freedom movement, turned me onto several books, and encouraged my interest in the subject.

It is a subject that I have never tired learning about.  Be it Victor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning, or now, the story of The Countrymen, it is a topic that I find fascinating, heartbreaking, and sure that when I see modern genocide activities, reminds me we cannot stand by and do nothing.

The Countrymen

I recently finished reading the book, The Countrymen by Bo Lidegaard.  This is a story about the Jews in Denmark during World War II. It tells about how the Danish people responded to the German threats against the Jews. It tells about how the Danish non-government responded to the German threats against the Jews. And it tells about how the country came together to help the Jews escape, as best they could to Sweden. And how Sweden opened its arms to the Jews, and offered material assistance to those who helped them to escape Denmark, when the Germans were trying to deport them to the concentration camps.

Years ago, I had heard what I learned was a myth, about when the Germans decreed that the Jews wear a gold star, as they had in other countries, everyone in Denmark, including King Christian, wore a star. Well, others smarter that I thought that to be the truth. It was not, but it exemplified the Danish attitude: they were countrymen all.

This is an amazing story about democracy, attitude, defiance, and politics. 

All of the countrymen who helped the Jews were so brave. And, as the story is written, it seems most of them did not think about being brave. They seemed to think about doing the right thing and being humanitarian. 

What a lesson we can learn.  There are still so many mass injustices in the world.  This is a lesson for us that when people step up, and do not back down to bullying and tyranny and hatred, but do the right thing, that something good can happen.

The Butler

Once again, I will say that I do not watch Jay Leno on "The Tonight Show" a lot. But I was watching tonight.  Robin Williams was one of the guests, and he is in the movie "The Butler http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1327773/." As I understand it, this is a true story of a Black butler who served the Presidents in the White House. I am going to try to watch for this movie in Lubbock.  I want to see it.

Constitution USA

I got to know about Peter Sagal from "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" http://www.npr.org/programs/wait-wait-dont-tell-me/.   He is hosting a new series on PBS, "Constitution USA" http://www.pbs.org/tpt/constitution-usa-peter-sagal/home/.  When the series opener aired last week, I almost missed it, but thanks to a friend, I was reminded about the series, and was able to watch most of it.

It is a wonderful show.  It uses a lot of timely and visual descriptions to explain about the US Constitution.  It explains things, but in more than one medium so what ever type of learner you might be, it can make sense.  Mr. Sagal's wit and humor also come through, which keeps the series from being dry. And he uses comic visual content.  It is just wonderful.

If you have not seen it, do not miss it.  It is great!

Bad People Are People, Too

I am a social worker who works in a psychiatric prison hospital.  I deal with bad people every day.  By my professional ethics and the standards of the agency for which I work, I am required to treat the patients with dignity.

When someone enters a public service profession, even in a private business, they have to realize that they will deal with people whose actions are despicable, but require their services, anyway.  This applies to social welfare organizations, religious organizations, medical and mental health care organizations, funeral services, public utilities, what have you.

NPR http://www.npr.org/ aired the news that the funeral home that prepared the deceased Boston Bombing suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev was having a difficult time finding a place to bury the body.  Finally someone stepped forward, Martha Mullen http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/05/11/183118085/emotions-run-high-after-boston-bombing-suspects-burial.  I sent this to NPR:

I want to thank Martha Mullen for her actions to get Boston Bombing suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev buried. I could not figure out how to comment on the story directly, so I am sending this in. As I heard about the Funeral Home that accepted his body, but could not find a place to bury him, I found myself getting angry. I hate what Tsarnaev is accused of doing But I felt that he, too, should be accorded a burial in his faith. Martha's comments were a perfect reflection of what I felt, but I was not sure where to start, and as this went on and on, I kept trying to think what could I do. I am a Christian, actually a non-practicing Catholic. But my "faith" tells me that, as Martha said, sometimes we have to move into the uncomfortable to live our beliefs. Good for her!

SNAP!

I have been struggling with my conscience in regards to writing about this topic, but after some open and honest discussions with co-workers today, I have decided I will try to address this topic in the most careful and respectful way I can.

It is my perception that many people on the South Plains want to believe that we live in a world, here, that is not subject to all of pressures and influences of the modern world.  Well, of course, that is nonsense.  But people in West Texas are insular, or at least, think that we are insular, or that they want us to be insular.

But the South Plains is subject to all the influences, pressures and lifestyle problems that are found anywhere else in the world.  And, that being the case, the people of the South Plains are subject to the pressures and payload, emotional, psychological, financial, that people the world over find that they, too are subjected to.

Most recently, there have been two incidents that have brought this home to me.  A co-worker, known to me in passing, engaged in a most horrific and tragic episode that resulted in two deaths, and later, he himself, died in an automobile accident.  Why these events occurred, we may never know. It is not our right to explore and dissect the inner workings of the families involved, who have suffered horrifically, and who will continue to suffer, given the legacy of the actions of this person. 

These families deserve our circumspect respect. They do not need to suffer our prying eyes.  I am not trying to intrude. I want to use this as a learning experience for us all.

The repercussions of the acts of this person are multi fold: The pain and suffering from the losses that spreads across the immediate and extended families. The shame and guilt associated with the man's actions. The faith that at some moment before his death, he made his peace with God, and that we are better human beings because we understand that this instantaneous revelation can occur.  

His actions were so out of character and make so little sense, I have to believe he had some sort of psychotic break . Otherwise it makes no sense.  The question is, what are the pressures and stressors that mounted to the point that this psychotic break occurred. We cannot know the load that another human being carries, and what one more stressor can do to that person. 

Some of us are not schooled in the skill of decreasing stress, knowing our limits or even asking for help. Many of us could  not recognize, in ourselves, when we get to the breaking point, and that is frightening.

The second event is the suicide death of a young man who, many would have thought, had the life many others would want to live.  It is hard to know why this young man engaged in the irrevocable act of suicide.  What pressures and stressors we could not see from without that he was not handling appropriately from within.  What are the pressures and stressors that a young man might experience that would drive him to this ultimate act of desperation.

Because I am not in the inner circle, I will never know. I do not know if those in the inner circle will ever know. 

But I do know that we must treat all life with value, treasure, respect, dignity and immense caring. I believe if we give humans true understanding of their worth, as humans because they are human, and do not have to have value added to their lives, the quality of their lives will improve.

For the poor, the down-trodden, the victimized, the abused, the under-appreciated, and often, the disabled of mind and body, this notion of inner worth often is non-existent.  I spend a lot of time talking to patients about the fact that they have value simply because they are a living human being, and no one can take that away from them.  

I cannot know what bundle of stressors caused these two people to SNAP. I can only hope that in the course of my days as a social worker, I am able to reach out to people and maybe help someone who is close to snapping, but does not.

More importantly, as we go about our daily lives, I hope we develop a sense of caring and compassion that helps everyone in our world to stay away from that desperate edge. I hope we remember to be kind, considerate, respectful, caring and compassionate, so we send the message to all with whom we have contact, that they are a wonderful, special, unique and valuable human being.

It's Messy in Here!

Sake is a fastidious and prissy cat.  When Haiku arrived, and sometimes missed the litter box, catching the edge, this was very upsetting to Sake.  I remember one time when Haiku was using the litter box in the large bathroom, and Sake sat there and hissed at her.  Whatever she said, it was not pretty.  After that, Haiku got a better about using the litter box neatly.

Since Taki joined us, there have been more accidents and misses.  Also Haiku and Taki scratch up the newspaper I put under the litter box, sometimes tearing it and using it for cover in the litter box.

I clean the boxes and the areas around them at least once a week. If the papers get too messy, I do it more often.  This was a busy week, and the papers in the large bathroom got pretty messy, but I did not change them.  Saturday is cleaning day. I got a late start to my morning, and had many more than usual errands to run, so did not start cleaning until about 1:30 PM. 

A few minutes before I was ready to start cleaning, I was checking something on the computer, having just finished lunch.  I could hear Sake crying her most plaintive cry "I need something." She does that from time to time.  She even hid once when she was hurt and cried but I could never find her. Well, I found her today.  She was standing on the edge of the bath tub, crying, looking at the mess and looking at me.  I told her I was going to start cleaning shortly, and she was immediately consoled.  Hmmm. Did she understand what I said?  I doubt it, I am sure it is the tone.

So, I did clean, and did some extra freshening of the litter boxes. Maybe that will help the girls do better.

Freedom and Empowerment

I work in a men's psychiatric prison.  There are many constraints to working in the prison. For many years, one constraint has been the locked restrooms.  Each ward has restrooms, and outside of each office suite there are restrooms.  These are all locked, and the keys to the restrooms were available from correctional officers on each ward, the nurses on each ward, and one set of keys for each office suite.

Can you imagine how difficult it might be to deal with having to find a key for a restroom when you are in urgent need of using the restroom?  And, sometimes, if you went to the ward, the officers made rude comments about your bathroom activities. 

Over the years, we have devised multiple strategies to have the office suite key available for staff: One staff member checks out the key, but shares it with others. One staff member checks out the key, and locks it in a cabinet that other staff have access to. These solutions have their upsides, but mostly their downsides.

Most recently, a staff member requested a bathroom key, and was denied. He was denied because the prison really tries to limit keys. But the key controller suggested that the bathroom key core be changed, so it is accessible by the key that provides access to the office suite area.

That was implemented Monday afternoon, late.  Wednesday, several of us in the administrative area, physicians, security staff, and clerical staff, as well as myself, remarked at how empowered and freed we feel because we basically have unlimited access to the restroom.

This is a small thing. But this is a reminder about how important the respect of human dignity is in  the grand scheme of things.

I find myself saying daily "YES" I have power: I have a bathroom key!

Elderly Parents and My Own Future

Some of my coworkers and friends are dealing with elderly and failing parents.  I dealt with that some few years ago, and because of the physical distance between myself and my parents, I was spared the day to day trauma.

But trauma it is.  There are so many factors and facets to dealing with elderly parents:  To name a few: their perception of their capabilities, and their desire not to surrender independence. The reality of their abilities, especially in regards to such things as driving. Their physical strength and stamina. Their physical intactness. Their mental intactness. Their safety when they are not supervised.

As our parents age, as we age, we become less and less capable of doing the day to day tasks that we did without thought in our youth.  We are less capable physically. We forget. We start something and are distracted and can not finish. We have less interest or motivation. We have less physical strength.

Then, our body fails. We cannot walk as far, reach as high or lift as much.  We can not grasp as tightly. We can not move as quickly, or agilely as we once did. We can not stand as easily, or get up from a kneeling or crouching position. We are stiff and sore if we stay in one position too long. We lose feeling in our extremities.  

Life becomes harder in so many ways. We remember somethings, usually things of long ago, that comfort and calm us, or distress and discourage us.  Our physical faculties decline, and we can not care for ourselves the way we used to. We become dependent upon others, hopefully those who love us, and treat us with dignity and respect.

I will become, one day, as frail and infirm as my parents became.  I was not there to care for them on a day to day basis.  I do not have children who can care for me on a day to day basis. I can only hope that someone will be there, to care for me, to supervise my care. To be sure that I am not abused, nor taken advantage of, nor manipulated to my detriment.

Am I afraid? No. I am hopeful.  And I know the full Grace of God who takes care of my soul, whatever happens to my body.