I Think I am Addicted!

It was not a particularly bad day, but just a little frustrating.  The biggest frustration is that I am in pain.  I was not in pain until last Wednesday. Until then, I was taking Celebrex and doing the exercise regimen that I learned in physical therapy, including going to the Lifestyle Center http://www.covenanthealth.org/Our-Services/LifeStyle-Centre.aspx 2-3 times a week to do the pool exercise regimen that I started at physical therapy.

In August, my insurance company, United Health Care http://www.uhc.com notified me I was in the "step therapy" program, and I had to try medications other than Celebrex, as they would not cover the cost of Celebrex.  I went to my doctor, got a prescription for meloxicam, which I started last week. The first day I took it, I could tell I was not getting the pain relief I was getting with Celebrex.

I waited a few days, and matters only got worse.  I am very frustrated.  I had worked hard to do physical therapy and follow up on my own to not lose the strides I had made at pain management.  It was thrown into the trash by my insurance company.

I was also frustrated trying to communicate with my doctor's office.  Rather than call me back as I requested, so we could discuss this, they just ordered a new prescription. The insurance tells me they did not request a pre-authorization. If I do not follow instructions from my doctor, they get upset, but they do not follow instructions from me. So, I got upset.

This is the kind of stuff, when I am in pain, that can set me to tears. It is manageable. It is fixable, it is not life-threatening. But it takes more time and energy than I think it should.  If people did their jobs the way they are supposed to, this would not happen. 

I understand the insurance dance.  I do not always agree.  In fact, I think managed care creates more costs to consumers than it manages costs.

I am a firm believer in "if it is not broke, so don't fix it."  But it seems corporate America does not believe in that (Coca Cola http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Coke.) And, as we have learned, my insurance company is included in this.

Yesterday, a coworker reminded me that my muscle spasms may be due to low potassium.  I think she was right: I had been eating bananas, but had not done so for about 10 days, until yesterday.  Today, I woke up without the muscle spasms I had been having, but still had some of the other pain.

So, anyway, I went to the Lifestyle Center tonight after work.  It was like magic. I got in the water, and it felt like my stressors and pain melted away.  And they did.  I did my regular routine (actually I have several variations of a regular routine) which takes a little more than an hour. 

Although I still have some discomfort, it is greatly diminished tonight.

A colleague who has been going to water groups at the Lifestyle Center for some time told me she felt it was very relaxing and helpful as a de-stressor.  I got it tonight. I was really looking forward to my time in the pool, and it was just so soothing and calming.  I am hooked!

Mail Merge and Other Functions

This new software is really baffling to me. Because I have 90 days of free technical support from Microsoft, I am definitely using it.  I think I will look into the Microsoft 360 program, because if what I read was correct, for a minimal fee each month, I can get ongoing support.  Including, they "take over" the computer, and fix things without my having to do anything but sit there.

Well, my most recent headache has been mail merge.  I have set up mail merge files for now three times.  The first two needed to be edited and try as I might, I just could not figure it out.  I had instructions printed out from Microsoft, and still could not figure it out. Tonight (before midnight) I spent about an hour trying get it to work, according to the instructions 

Twice I told myself I was too tired, and I would do it tomorrow, twice, I went back to it, because I am just stubborn enough to want to do it.  Well, finally, instead of using the instructions from Microsoft, I tried it the way it would have worked on my old laptop. Within just a few minutes, I had it set up the way I wanted it.  Doesn't that beat all?

Sometimes, I Get Frustrated

Sometimes, when I am working on a project, and I think I am doing it right but no matter what I do it seems to turn out wrong.  So, I get more and more frustrated, and all of a sudden, nothing is right.

That was happening tonight.  I was interrupted by a phone call.  I could not decide if I wanted to answer the phone or keep working.  But, I did answer the phone, when I realized it was a special friend who was calling.

I don't think I was good phone company tonight.  I did not have too much to say. And, I could not think of things to ask my friend about.  I did tell her about my frustrating project.

We had a nice visit though, and my frustration melted away as we talked.  I tried once more, and sure enough, what ever I was doing wrong, this time the project came out right.

That is such a relief. 

Lately, when I start a project, I am so afraid things will turn out wrong, I set up a tension of self-fulfilling prophesy. I need to chill out and have more confidence, or at least, less self-doubt.